Soundtrack Of Our Lifes (A Jacksepticeye Fanfiction)

Somewhere in Neverland

Song is Somewhere in Neverland by All Time Low

Have fun!

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At night I lie awake. Sean is snoring next to me, sleeping like a child. I really need to get out for a moment. I grab my cigarettes and go outside in my sleeping shirt. The nights are really warm here, so I sit down at the pool, looking at the lighted city. I light my cigarette and take a deep breath.

'What are you doing out here that late?' I flinch at that unprepared disturbance. A red floof of hair appears in my sight as Mark plants himself next to me on a chair.

'Can't sleep. I am not so good at sleeping.'
I look at him, inhaling the bitter smoke of my cigarette. 'Oh, happy Birthday, Mark. I almost forgot!' I smile at him and ruffle his hair.

'Thank you very much, sweetheart.' He smiles back at me. 'So... you and Jack making a good couple. He really needed someone. I am so happy that he had found you.'

'We both needed someone... and I am happy I have him. My life has a meaning now. He helps me so much. I really like him.' I end my cigarette and put it in the ashtray. Mark hisses next to me.

'Like? You just like him? Don't you say each other that you love the other?' He asks with a risen eyebrow.

'No. We're not good at this feeling thing. And it makes me nervous to talk about that. And we are in an early stage of our relationship anyway. I love him, I know but I can't say that.' I babble and rub my head. I am not good at talking about feelings. I wish I had stayed in bed.

'You said it just now. And... I know that's somehow inappropriate but... you don't have some sex times, do you?' He looks at me totally serious. The question takes me off guard and I am a little bit angry now.

I look at him, my eyes narrowed. 'That's none of your business.'

'I am his best friend. He had to talk about that. He doesn't understand. And neither do I. You did that with so many guys you don't know. Why can't he come in into your wonderland?' I grind my teeth at his words and close my eyes, trying to fight back that massive rage that is storming inside me now.

'Mark! Stop that.' I sigh. 'Okay... okay. I know you won't stop. And I don't want your puns that you'd do all the time.
I never had sex with someone I love. It was always just a way to get attention. Another point in my life I didn't learn. I was just used over and over and over. Technically I know that there is other then just plain physical sexuality. Practically I don't know how that feels. And I am afraid of it. I am afraid of all this feelings I have for him.' I light another cigarette and look at the city. My rage cools down and I close my eyes again.

'You're really a messed up little one. But I can tell you, Jack wants to do you no harm. He wants to be your guide to your personal heaven. I've never seen him like that before. His world circles around you now.'
He pats me on the head, encouraging he looks at me and makes me look at him by holding my chin in his hand. 'I want it to turn out good. I love Jack very much. He's one of my best friends. So please don't hurt him like that. Just try.'

'I do, but I did not request that his world is around me now. And that makes me a bit nervous. I am grateful though. I owe him.' I throw the rest of the cigarette away, sighing.

'Ya don't owe me anything, ya know? I do that because you're my everything.' I flinch as Sean suddenly appears on the balcony over Mark and me. I cover my face with my hands and sigh.

'How long do you stand there?' I ask him, blushing in a deeper and deeper red. I just want to hide now. It's so embarrassing.

'A while. Sorry for eavesdropping. Move ya ass up here. Think we have to talk about a few things.' He goes inside again, I make my way back into the room after saying goodnight to Mark.

When I enter, Sean pulls me into his arms and kisses me shortly on the lips. Then we get our blankets and pillows and lay them down on the balcony. I lay my head into his lap, looking up to him. He plays with my hair, smiling.

'So... first, ya don't owe me anything. I am your boyfriend. I am with ya cause I want to. With everything included.
Second, we can expirience everything together. Ya just have to let me lead ya. I will guide ya. And it's almost like taking your virginity. Holy Shit that turns me on somehow.'
He chuckles and lifts me onto his lap so that he can kiss my nose. I wrap my arms around him and blush a bit.
'Third and most important: Say it. Say to me what ya said to Mark.' He holds my head with both of his hands locking my eyes on his.

'Say it.' He says with his very low voice and gives me goosebumps with that again.

I take a deep breath and he distracts my with a kiss. A passionate, deep one, that makes my heart flutter. He pulls a bit back and whispers 'Say it' over and over again, between the deep kisses he's giving me. My head starts to spin and I am out of breath. 'I love you, Sean. I really do.' The words come almost unhearable out of my mouth, but I say it.
'And I love ya, my insecure little monster.' I can't even complain, he kisses me again, and it's the best kiss we ever shared.