RIN'S POV
Sigh...nyahhh...
6:28 AM. I looked at myself at the mirror after I just finished dressing up. I saw that I now looked a bit different.
My hair grew longer for a bit. Just a bit, but it meant I could make a small ponytail at the back of my head. As for my body, I am taller now. I am probably at just about the same height as Kayo-chin is. Also, my chest got a tiny bit big...umm...I think just about 3 cm of differrence...but at least I noticed...
I am changing. I am growing. And for some reason, I don't like it.
It's strange, being more girly was what I wanted. And now I am. Compared to two years ago, I looked like a guy; now, I clearly look a bit more feminine. But...why...why am I so sad...
As I walked to school, I saw everything around me seemed...out of place. Something is bothering me...no, it's not the graduation. I'm aware of it. I'm preparing myself for it. I'm not regretting I chose another university to go to. Even if I have to be seperated with Hanayo -
... ... for some reason, I no longer like calling her "Kayo-chin". I don't know why...
At school...
Yeah...these past days, I've been feeling so...insecure. Especially with Kayo - ehem, Hanayo-chan. Everytime I see her, I wanted to look away, or at least not look at her face. Everytime I am with her, I feel...sick...
I even lost interest eating with her too. Just like now...
"Umm...Rin-chan...you're not eating your ramen again...what's wrong?"
I don't feel like it.
"Umm...Rin-chan...it'll get cold if you......"
I know that Hanayo...you think I'm dumb? Just shut up, please.
"...Rin-chan...you're being too silent...something's wrong, right?"
Shut up. Please. I don't feel like talking.
"...Rin-chan...(getting a bit teary)...Rin-chan, why are you not listening to me!!?"
Slam. I hit the table with my fist, I stood up...then...I said it...
"HANAYO, SHUT UP!! I DON'T WANT TO TALK! I DON'T WANT TO EAT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR STUPID VOICE!!"
The moment I realized I shouted those words, I saw Hanayo-chan's face. It hit me. She was crying. She was afraid of me. She was...she was...
She was looking at someone else...not the Rin-chan she knew before...
......I felt guilty...there was no reason for me to say those words...to be angry with her...but...why did it happen...?
Not looking at her eyes, I left and walked away. I walked as fast as I could. I ignored the faces of other people who just saw what I did...I went to the bathroom and closed the door....
...then I looked at the mirror...I looked at myself...I realized...
I'm no longer interested in my best friend...that I don't like her anymore...that...that I'm tired being with her for more than 10 years. That...I wanted to be seperated with her...
Once I realized it...I cried. I cried hard...harder than I ever knew before...I covered my mouth with my hands as I did not want anyone to hear me crying...I closed my eyes...and let out all my tears...
What have I done?
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A/N: I thought deeply about this chapter and I am just as surprised as you (probably) of how it turned out. Regardless, thanks for reading.
More dramatic chapters to come.
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RinPana: When You Say Goodbye...
Фанфик(Alright, time for a change of ships!) She could not do it. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't... It was time to say goodbye to Rin Hoshizora...
