The Trip

Chapter 8

Chris
LA

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It's been awhile since I left Wisconsin and I sort of miss it because all of my things was up for me to do it and I liked it and still like it.
I guess I'm not used to people doing a lot of things for me.

I never really liked someone as much as I do with my family and some of my closest friends like Erin.
And she's doing a lot of things to make me "feel" like I'm home because she knows that I'm not really an outgoing person like she is.

After awhile of me and Erin just talking in her bedroom about the future and who do we want to get married to or how the wedding is going to be, made me really think about the future.

Just think,
In five minutes I can be dead.
Just think,
In five minutes I can be having the best time of my life.

I would want to die but not at this age, I want to die much later.
I want to have the best time of my life, I want to make my life worth it.

"Hey, do you want something to eat?" She asks me.
"Sure" I respond
"Ok, be right back" she says

She gets up and go get something for us to eat, meanwhile I just stare at the ceiling and I just think; I'm thinking too much.

While I'm here thinking and worrying about school and money or if I'm going to make it or not, I could just be like Erin.
Someone who doesn't give a shit about anything and is a powerful person.

I get up and just look at her stuff around her room.
Her room is not very girly nor very manly, it's just her.

Black ceiling with glow-in-the-dark stars and planets, a desk with her school stuff and her computer, her bathroom, her small walking closet and outdoor place which you can see the sunset and the sunrise.

FINALLY.

I found a way to make it up to her.

She's been doing a lot of stuff for me and I'm doing nothing, I know she likes the moon and the sun and I also know that she's scared of the moon and the sun so I'm thinking of just staying up the night to see the sunset and the sunrise.

While I was looking outside Erin started coming up with cookies and Arizona tea.

She goes outside to this little table that she has in her patio, she left the cans and the cookies out there and she went to grab something from her closet.

I go outside to just sit there and just think if it will work. She comes back with her camera and she starts taking pictures.
She has a huge matte black camera that I don't know the name of it, it looks very professional.

"Where did you get that camera?" I ask

"My dad bought it for me for my 14th birthday, it was his only gift that he gave to me before he was sent to a mental health intuition after trying to commit suicide" she says

"Oh sorry about that" I say

"Don't need to be sorry, he's better but I know that things won't be perfect after that happened." She says

"Yeah" I say

"Want one?" She asks while giving me a can of Arizona.

"Sure" I open mine and i say

"Throughout today I've been watching you, how you do things, how you are with people, and how you agree with yourself, I can never do that"

"Well most of the time I'm like that, trying to agree with everything and throughout the years it worked just being that person that agrees with everything but at the end of the day things don't get better. It just gets worst but I attempt to not overthink it and not scared of it." She says and she takes a sip of her tea

"I guess I'm too scared of it" I say

"Well someday you get over 'it'. Even though it looks tough, it's not that hard. You just got to understand that it never is perfect." She says

"Definition of Perfect in that sentence?" I ask

"Umh, perfect: trying to make things appear the way that you want.
You always think that things are going to be your way but it never is, right?" She says

"Yeah, definition of It?" I ask

"It: life." She says

We smile to each other and we take another sip from our drink and look and at the sunset.