Raw Desire

The Past

A/N : I do not remember if I have mentioned this before, but my story does not revolve only around Amirah. I want my readers to know that Ruben too has an equally important stance in my book.

“The formalities were finished off when we met at your friend’s party. We know each other’s names and I believe that’s all that is relevant. You said a few moments back that I needed a therapist.

Yes ,I have been advised to go to a therapist earlier too. 

You see, I come from a very well off family, but the entire business functions from here, while I lived in a small town whose only therapist was my uncle. My father did not want to lose me to the city lights, I had the best education possible, but in my own town. I went off to college and returned with the ambition of taking my father's business to another level. I handeled the branches of that town while my father handled the business here.

Whenever I would get back home from work, I would be alone with the servants, for my father never had any time to spare from his business. But even though I wish I could blame him, I know he was lonely and wanted to melt into his work."

Amairah had thought she would never interrupt, just let him get on with whatever he has to say. She knew how to soothe a body, but the art of soothing a soul had never been taught to her. But as they say, ‘curiosity killed the cat’

"Your parents divorced? "

He scoffed, “They could never even have thought of that! They loved each other more than anything else in the world, except me of course, but my mother suffered from Atrial septic defect, ASD for short"

At this she noticed a frown appearing on his face. His always saddened features became even more prominent. As she was speculating what this disease could be and wondering if she should ask what this disease really is, she heard a small voice say,

"Can I know what that is?"   

A few moments later she realized it had been her own voice that had betrayed her.

He sighed, "It’s a disease of the heart which often shows no symptoms until the point where it cannot be cured at all. It is congenital, so after my mother died of it, my father had me tested. I never got to see the reports, but my father says they were normal. I talked to the doctor after my father left, but he said he was under strict orders. My father had strictly forbidden him from revealing any information to me"

His voice cracked at the end. This was not easy for him. She could see it very vividly. His eyes seemed to be in another world altogether, like he was reliving each memory, each day, each moment.

"The loneliness was too much to get used to. The only words exchanged between dad and me were those concerning business matters. But I saw my dad get more and more worried by the day. The business was doing very well, so the only reason I saw for his gloom was mom's demise. I tried, trust me, I put in everything I had and tried to get him to confide in me, but he always said it was due to business. It was foolish of him to say so, for I had become if not more, then as much a workaholic as him, and I knew very well that work provided us with no reason to be that upset.

Eventually, I gave up and decided to lose even more of myself in my work, just like my father.

Business made me travel, and I visited various countries, saw various places. Even though my brain was always clouded with the amount of work I had drowned myself into, my heart was always empty, doing its basic functions, pumping a lot of blood. But that that’s all it did. For there was nothing left for it to feel except solitude.

I missed my mother terribly. She was what you can call an extraordinary smart woman. My father time and again called her a typical Gemini. She loved to talk and had the twin personality, in a strikingly attractive sense. He used to say that it was her unpredictability, more than anything else that had forced him to fall head over heal for her.”

At this he laughed, obviously thinking about incidents that proved his father’s point. It was crazy how he was sharing his entire life with an absolute stranger. But he figured it would be better than going to a man who himself needs therapy. One of his employees had once told him that most therapists themselves hire therapists! The boring rooms that seemed to suffocate him could be considered as the cherry on the top.

“Once, my dad and I decided to strike a deal with our only rivals. It involved me meeting their President. I met the President and we got along pretty well. The deal was signed and the man, seemed to have developed a very strong admiration for me. He invited me over to dinner at a restaurant, which I gladly accepted. He told me I would also have to meet and work with his CEO, who was also his daughter.

I met her, and at the very first meeting, our egos clashed. We fought like maniacs and lost a little bit of our sanity in each fight. We still had to work together since we had signed a deal. So, we kept meeting and kept fighting. Anyone who was around us during our fights would laugh like they had just witnessed a live shoot of another fresh episode of their favorite comedy show"

Amairah did not miss the unmistakable twinkle in his eyes. If he relived the days that pained him, why wouldn’t he relive the happy days? She knew that this CEO could be the person who was supposed to would free him of all his anguish. But then why was he still upset? Was this the very painful one sided love that she had heard of so often?

“Our work made us meet very frequently. Though now, I like to believe that it was our destiny that made us meet that often. Without even knowing it, I started to like fighting with her. Her cheeks used to earlier go red from anger but I noticed a change in those. Her cheeks would turn a very lovely crimson color every time I flirted with her. I used to flirt earlier because it annoyed her to no extremes. But that changed without any of us knowing of it. I began to flirt with her with a different motive altogether. I never for once had any perverted thoughts for her. She was too pristine for that. My motive was simply to see her blush and hide her eyes under her lashes.

The way her eyes would look at anything but my eyes while blood would rush to her cheeks like it had found a second home in them while I flirted crazed me. She always had her eyes outlined with kohl and it made her eyes the most beautiful pair in the world. She was beautiful naturally. Any cosmetic was a sheer waste on her.

The movies, the books, the paintings, the poetry; they were not always lying like I thought they were. Yes, it is possible for the tongue to try and speak a foreign language, while the eyes speak the native language of the soul. Of course, it is much easier to speak the native language. Her eyes were my secret passage to her heart, though she-"

At this point his phone’s alarm rang, reminding him of an urgent meeting. He gave her a quick goodbye and left, leaving Amairah wondering. If things were going this good, shouldn't he be a much happier man by now?

 Needless to say, she spent the entire night wondering about what he has told her, and what could possibly have happened after things were finally settling down in his life. Whatever it was, it had eaten him up like termite and it kept her up for the little time she had to rest, while she kept coming up with all possible scenarios.

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