Allegro
Next morning when I wake up, my head hurts terribly. And then memories flood back like wind gushing in during a storm. I remember those emerald green eyes showing worry for me, caring for me. I remember the smell of him as he held me in his arms. The perfume, the soft, tousled hair tingling my skin. But most importantly, I remember breaking down in front of him. Proving that I am weak, that I can be dominated if I want it to happen. I look at the man sleeping beside me, his face towards me, sleeping blissfully. I take a moment to appreciate the beauty.
He cannot enter my world. If he does, he will lose his own innocence, his own adorableness. My darkness will stain his light and fill it till he fears it and escapes.
Sighing, I look at the clock, which says its 6:04 am. Running a hand through my hair, I abandon the bed, letting Grant take over all of it. I slide open the doors of my closet and settle on a simple black crop top with a pair of white shorts. I head into the the bathroom and turn on the shower, stepping out of my clothes and letting the heat of the shower embrace my body.
Once am done, I dry my body and wear my clothes.
I step out of the bathroom, to see Grant holding the picture in his hands. As soon as I step out, he looks up at me, the emerald green eyes boring into mine. Oh no, not so early.
"Who is she, Allegro?" He asks and looks at me, his eyes trying to find a way into my brain, hack it and steal the information.
I don't say a word. Simply walking towards him, I snatch the frame out of his hand.
"Not now." I say and he looks down at me. In spite of being pretty tall, I was a good deal shorter to him. He snatches back the picture from my hands.
"Just answer me, Allegro. Just talk." He says, voice softening.
"Don't do it. Just fucking stop with it." I say, my voice raising a bit.
"Oh my god, Allegro! What is wrong with you? You can't just keep shutting me out every time I ask you. There has to be a time, where you will tell me! Just talk to me about it. Please."
"Don't you dare try forcing me into something. I don't want to visit that horrible place, that horrible past." I say, anger crystal clear in my voice.
"Your past? Well, your not the only one who lost a loved one you know. Your mother was suffering from Stage IV breast cancer. There was nothing your dad could do about it. And about the leashing? He had stopped it, probably because he had realized his fault, Allegro! Humans make mistakes. Just stop being so damn-" He yells.
My eyes widen with horror. Nobody knows about that except Willa and Anne and Cameron. Nobody does. And except my journal. My journal. There is no way-
"You touched my journal?" I blurt out. He doesn't nod or move, but his guilt in his eyes are enough to give me the answer.
Rage bursts into flame inside of me as if someone just poured some diesel into it. My hands clench and shake at my sides.
"Cómo te atreves a tocar mis cosas? Y entonces me estás diciendo que estaba equivocado? Hablando de mi dad, he could have done nada, lo sé, but at least he should have come out and helped my mom. No se siente allí en la parte trasera como un cobarde! Él podría haber hecho los últimos días de mi madre feliz! Y lo que hizo? Él levantó la botella en sus manos y se cubrió el rostro detrás de él!" I say, breathlessly, my voice bouncing off with anger. "I have seen my mother slip away from me like sand from my hand. But most importantly, Grant, he visto morir triste. Yo estaba allí para consolarla, pero no lo suficiente como para dejarla escapar del dolor. I have seen her getting beaten by that beast, every night! Every fucking night! That was enough to break an eight-year-old girl!" I say and I feel the tears form in my eyes. I can't break down in front of him, not again.
He reaches for me, with his arms held out, but I push him away. Hurt and guilt immediately flashes across his eyes.
"Don't." I say through my gritted teeth. I grab my bag, and run down the stairs. Willa is already making her way to the stairs. Without letting her speak, I push past her, and run for the door.
As soon as I'm out, tears don't stay back any longer. This is the exact reason why I don't want to dwell on anything. Everything I hold onto hurts, aches my heart. And everytime I remember that wild beast, touching my mother, an angel, tears are bound to come. Every time I remember that, I am the eight-year-old Allegro once again, clinging onto her teddy, hearing the blood curling screams of my mother.
I can't go to college today. Grant will be there.
But, I do know what will relieve me. I know where to go. Walking to the curb, I stick my hand out for a cab and it stops for me. I get into the car, closing the door behind me.
Grant
My eyes can't believe what just happened. I didn't know Allegro speaks Spanish. I have never seen her so angry. I could see the pain, fear and vexation all mixed up behind those pale blue eyes, turning them into a darker shade of blue. Why am I so goddamn foolish? Why did I have to read her personal journal at all? Why did I have to push her to her breaking point? I know she won't be going to college. Where will she be right now?
The door bursts open, and for a moment I think it's Allegro. But my thoughts are proved wrong with the dyed purple hair.
Willa crosses the room, her tiny body targeting me. She holds me by the collar and yanks my face down.
"What did you do to her? What did you say?" She says through her gritted teeth. My face pales, not out of fear of what Willa can do, but afraid that I won't be able to meet Allegro anymore.
"I just-" I say, but then stop, realizing there is no way I can blatantly throw it at her face, without feeling mortified.
"Jesus. I have seen her cry. She never cries."
"Look, I... I went through her journal." I say and her brown eyes widen.
"What?"
"Look, I didn't mean to. I just- I just couldn't sleep and I started re-"
Willa lets go of my collar and moves backward. She makes a swift turn and am more than surprised. I had expected she would yell, she would fight with me. But she walks towards the door and swings it open, her tiny body about to round the corner of the door. But just as she is about to close the door, she stops.
"I want Allegro back. Go find her. Search the city, I don't care. Cameron and Anne are getting back today. I want her with me. Go." She says and closes the door, leaving me in a devastated state.
Don't worry, Willa. I will get her.
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