Love Grows Fonder With Time

Clouser

It's 5th period and I'm stressing out. I got mixed feelings. Should I feel happy that he's here or upset that he never EVER reached out to me. I'm sitting with Jaelynn and I tell her everything that happened so far. She's a very good listener.
"Blah blah blah...blah" teacher
I literally don't pay any attention in class lol.
"Ms.Toretto, can you please get your feet off the table," said the teacher
"Look, Mr.Anderson, I have had a really confusing day," i stand up " My best friend came back from Florida and I'm not sure how to feel. Should I be happy or sad. I mean it would make total sense if i was happy cuz I haven't seen him in YEARS. But I should be sad because the dude hasn't called OR texted me at all. There are so many ways to communicate, for example FaceTime, snapchat, instagram, Facebook, and probably some other stuff too. Like what is the guys deal!? So please, Mr.Anderson, let me rock!," I explained to him
"Sure," he said with a monotone voice
"Thank you," I said with a smile
I sat down and got in my comfy position. After class Ally approached me, it's not uncommon because sometimes we talk.
"Hey Savannah,"said Ally
"Hey Ally,"
"So I'm guessing you saw Jacob," she said
"Yea,"
"Did you get his "invite" she asked
"What invite,"
"He's giving one to everyone in our old squad," said Ally
"Wonder why,"
"Yea. Well see ya."
"See ya,"
We part ways and I head to study hall. I walk in and see the teacher sleeping, as always, and some other kids. I glance the room one more time and find the person I'm looking for. I walk up to him and say "You. Outside. Now."
"So demanding" Jay says
I walk him to the janitors closet and lock the door so there's no interruptions. I look him dead in the eye and back hand him. KAPOW. It was pretty loud lol.
"Jeez Savannah I know you mad but you didn't have to backhand me," he said
"Sorry I'm just really stressed," I said
"Alright here's the deal Jay, I'm mad at you. I'm mad because you never talked to me. And I really needed you. I kept trying to reach out to you but you never replied back. You didn't even read it. And I'm mad that you think that you can walk into my life thinking everything is ok and nothing changed." I say then my eyes start to water up. "Everything changed. The squad is broken. We rarely talk to each other and it's killing me. For years I had to settle with not having my best friends around to have my back or to listen to my problems. I can't even talk to my sister because I don't want to see the disappointment in her eyes. Me and my sis have been through enough already because my mom lost her freaking memory and her and my dad had to leave so she can get her memory back." I start to cry but I keep talking. " I miss my family and my friends and I can't live like this anymore! This life I made, I don't want it anymore. I'm angry at the person I've become. I can't do this anymore!" I finished and ball my eyes out. Jay looks at me and starts to hug me. He really hates to see me sad. We just sit there, me crying and him comforting me. I needed to get everything out. I've been keeping these emotions in for to long.
"I'm sorry mi amor (my love).I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. But I am now and I promise I won't ever leave you." he says
Jay rubs my back as I cry in his shirt but him comforting me feels nice. Is it bad to say that I'm starting to get feelings for him again?