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MEMORIES

CHAP 4

Dreams have their own memories. She felt like it never happened. It was like she saw a dream close to reality; the things that she needs to remember are those that make her feel alive. Though she thought more than hundred times that these memories cannot be forgotten but sometimes real world slaps her that she wakes up from her dream world that is alive inside her mind. The consciousness awakes her physical body so that she can perform her daily routine task. Those tasks were the tools of her consciousness. Effectively she was pursuing her goals, with these tools. Such tools included ticking of her clock, her personal secretary, people around her, her pets in her huge house, but most importantly, morning. Mornings are incredible creation of Allah. Mornings always make you believe that you are alive. You can't ignore mornings. When you wake up and your eyes open up from darkness to light, when your body is full of energy, your bladder needs to get empty and you can say no to anything but your bladder. The hair mess needed to be pulled away or to get straightened. These tasks create an air of uneasiness, with a slogan of you are human and you need to do these tasks. Every day same routine, finding your brush, hurrying up to get some cereals chunk in your stomach to and satisfying the greedy stomach. Nothing in this world is more ruthless than this evil stomach.
He loved to drink strawberry juice. She thought the day when he first arrived at her house and then he found her a nice girl, after playing computer games with her. They day when he told her list of girls that were in love with him, she smiled on little things they used to do together. The school's excursion trip to see Murree and Malam jabba, they were used to catch fish, and compete who got the bigger one. The day he got his first motor bike and she got the first ride with him. They fell but they kept this secret, they took first aid at her house's garden, luckily they were not badly injured.
She was standing on her favorite spot near the wooden cabin at surf rider beach. The surf rider beach or Malibu state beach, people come here to surf, as the name suggests, it is famous for surfing. It has a history of surfing, but it is due to its special tides that are made because Malibu Lagoon is an estuary at the mouth of Malibu Creek. She loved the dramatic movement of waves. Surfers showing talents to people, children busy in making sand castles, reminding her when they visited beach at Karachi. A dozen people fitted in one Suzuki high roof. Their families were close to each other. None of the families, mind their strong bond. They were good at studies, well mannered and both of them were quite competent.
She also remembers the day, when she found the reality of her bond with him.

"You are my best friend and, I don't think anything else."
Those words were not the end of the discussion. She tried but he was fixed. She waited for few years and when she realized he is never going to change. She just wanted to disappear in the air. She decided to leave everything behind and went to study abroad. She knew that time doesn't wait for people to get hold of their situation. People, who stop in the time, brood and become grey, they live in the world of dreams and the dream world cannot release you real success. She knew that if she couldn't be with Areeb, she has to get hold of her life and try to excel in things she can control. You cannot change any one's mind but you can actually control your life. It was her motive, to do things that she didn't change herself but the positivity brings good result. She was standing and watching the sun set, it was beautiful in her mind, and she was contented that she has spent her time well. She kicked sand, looking down, she smiled and a little tear rebelled her smile, she felt the other corner of her left eye was also wet. She rubbed her face. Her golden, skin was burning with fire of love, only to make her prettier. She was beautiful, she had figured out this after looking herself in the mirror every day, when she didn't know any other face. Considering that, she can be with anyone, loved by any one; it made her pass from series of thoughts in her mind. In the end she gave up the battle and accepted her spinster life until she changes herself. She wanted to move on, but like a resilient snake, his picture was marked on her heart like it is carved on the stone wall. Only that the wall of her was all muscles, blood and veins. She was not a pessimist, but was a cheerful happy person. When she used to walk on the road side block, he follows her, she always being faster than him, winning their games. She gets more marks than him, always beating him, and winning the games. For her everything was with him, she doesn't remember other memories, they were faded with time but the time they spent was irrevocable, irreplaceable.

"Why can't I do like others? Why can't I spend my life like all other people of my age spend, it's a curse on my life."

"Why isn't he here?" She sounded like wick of died flame. She fell on the sand. Her arms tried to hold her fragile body, but the teasing pain inside her chest was protesting. She lied on the sand. "Why does this happen to me, suddenly, my mind gives up. How long? A sting was sprouting from her chest" She sobbed.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" A female voice, it was like an angel, is here to help her, get up and help her to bring her to life back. The other girl was wearing blue T-shirt and shorts, she was with her boyfriend and when they notice that, a girl standing near the wooden cabin has fallen on sand.

She held her up shoulders to help, only to find that she was very cold."Marlin, I think she needs an ambulance. I think she is fainting."

He was a thin guy wearing, rainbow t-shirt, didn't make any time to call, explained what happened.

She was brought to hospital, but it was not her first time. This was her life. Her truth..
She collected her strength,

"Listen to me." She mumbled to the girl.

"Thank you so much."
The girl smiled, she was about 22. A kind smile on her face, golden hair was resting on her shoulders like angels' wings.

"Please inform to this number. My assistant will manage.The kind girl nodded.

She never wanted to be on news about what happened to her. People gossips,they will spread rumors that will only satisfy their theories. Talk of the town,is not her cup of tea. She had an image: The image that has protected her so far.She was fugitive of people views. She cared a lot about what people will think?What will happen? Beside the strong woman image that has been programmed in topeople's mind so well, she doesn't wanted to show her weakness to shatter that image. It was her dual life. A life that was envied by others, it was nothing but a gold case with a dying pigeon inside. 

What is the purpose of telling any one? Who can mend her soul? Who can take her out of the state. She knew that all people wanted was money, and she had plenty, only to her break more. She knew no one likes crying hollow person. She knew that what others need, she can provide only with dollars. She can't get attach to any one. She had tried that too. Only to make her more vulnerable to the cruel truth, that there is nothing in this world which can replace him, or fade his memories. She was dying, she just want to die silently.