Just tell me you hate me (zayn malik fanfiction)

chapter 16

The car trip home was longer then it took getting to the actual club, besides our little detour to Ant’s over the top apartment building, which I have no idea how on earth he can afford that because by what he’s told me him and Zayn grew up together in the same town on the same street, average class, nothing special, maybe he has something to do with the music industry, or something….

I sigh out loud, I know the reason why I have been over thinking little things, things that don’t even matter, it’s to get him out of my mind, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last hour and it still hasn’t worked, because that same image somehow begins to work its way back in.

We pull up outside the house, finally home-

No this is not home, New York is home, your dingy room in your mum and dads small apartment is home, this- this is nowhere close to that, nowhere, close to home.

I miss my room, I miss the sound of the traffic, the muffled horns, sirens and the constant chatter of the crowds of people cluttered up and down the grimy pathways, I miss climbing outside the fire escape onto the railing and looking over the rows of skyscrapers and bright lights descending out into the distance, consumed by the nights shadow trickled with golden dots scattered across the sky, I miss the cold night air sweeping against my face and hugging myself tighter, not to give me some sense comfort or guidance, but to hold onto the warmth slowly taken away by the nights breeze-

Now I find me hugging myself tighter for the comfort of knowing I’m not alone, forgetting that I’m thousands of miles away from home and also to hold onto that same warmth, however this time, it is not being taken away from the nights breeze, no, it’s been taken away from Zayn, Zayn Malik himself. And here comes the image again…

The car comes to a complete stop, I hear the click of the key turn, and then everything becomes silent, not looking up I hear the sound of a belt buckle then the door being thrust open, he’s still pissed, he hasn’t even talked to me since outside the club and I know why, I think…

He’s stopped, the doors open but he hasn’t gotten out of his seat, I find all the courage within me not to look up, not to see what’s keeping him from getting out and slamming the door shut behind him, I keep still looking down at my tangle fingers waiting to see his next reaction

Then I hear his seat shift and slam, he’s gone, I let out a loud sigh slouching down into the black leather seat, fuck me, what the hell did I do to deserve this-

I open the door then carefully get out, holey shit I’m light headed finding my balance, I make my way up the tiled steps, carefully opening the large front door and sliding through the small gap

Fuck it’s dark and I can’t see anything, I walk through the foyer hearing the echoing taps of my footsteps, I place my hand out to the rail then grip it tightly pulling myself up to the first step, then the second, and then the third, trying so hard not to fall face back down the stairwell. Jesus this place is scary when its dark, then breaking the silence I hear a deep muffled grumble coming from my stomach- holey shit I haven’t eaten all day, and number one rule with alcohol, always eat when drinking

I quickly turn around and make my way down the steps, Zayns most probably past out asleep in his room so I might as well help myself for a snack, I walk back through the foyer, and into the lounge, the light in the kitchen is still on, they must of forgot the turn it off, I then look onto the small coffee table to see two crystal clear glasses of what I’m assuming is vodka still there from last night, I walk through the doorway and as soon as I turn towards the kitchen bench a loud smash pierces through the still air sending myself to jump back, it wasn’t me, didn’t touch anything, and that came from the other side of the bench