Ashes (Sequel to Windows To The Soul)

Seven.

A/N: Hi there! Short chapter again, sorry guys. I'll try to write longer chapters. I want to suggest you to listen to You by The Pretty Reckless as you read this chapter, I did while writing it and I'm still emotional...I don't know why writing chapters like this is intense for me...haha Anyways, enjoy and leave your opinion please. I love you all <3

A few hours ago I was happy because I found a job, and now I was curled against my pillow, crying like an idiot.

Everything he scribbled in that note got tattooed onto my soul, I wasn’t going to forgive him anyways, the pain still burned inside of me.

When I calmed down a little bit, I grabbed the book from the bedside table and texted Selena, I needed her to tell me where Louis lived.

Five minutes later I received a text from her telling me the address of his house and asking me why I needed to know where he lives. I didn’t reply.

I wasn’t going to tell Selena or anyone what happened between me, Harry, Louis and…my father.

A taxi took me to Louis’. I was nervous, it’s not like I was going to forgive him, it’s just…I don’t know. It felt weird being in front of his house again.

I took a few steps forward and touched the white marble column, I remembered the day we decorated the house for Christmas…

I was about to ring the doorbell but I hesitated, why was even there? Why did I set my mind to look for him? I looked down at the book.

“Taylor?” A voice asked.

I looked up and found freckles and messy red hair.

“Taylor! Oh my god, oh my god…” He gasped.

He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me inside the house.

“I have to go now, Louis is in his bedroom.” He turned around. “Be careful, I don’t want to babysit a mini-Louis for the next eighteen years.” He said as he closed the front door.

I sighed. I went upstairs, still hesitating about what to do, maybe I should leave. My feet kept walking towards his bedroom.

I slightly knocked the door, but nobody answered so I came in.

I found him lying on his bed; his breath was slow and peaceful. I approached him and kneeled in front of him, he was asleep. I put his book on his bedside table and sat on the floor next to his bed.

“I can’t forgive you, I just can’t…I’m so hurt.” I whispered. “I need to prove to myself that I’m stronger than this.”

He looked younger but still tired when he was asleep, he was beautiful.

I could see how the rain started to fall outside through the window, I turned my head to see Louis one more time before leaving, but he was awake and looking at me.

He was going to talk, but I didn’t let him.

“Look, let’s make things easier. We don’t have to see each other, we don’t take the same classes, and you don’t live there. Let’s just ignore each other.” I said.

“What if I want to see you? What if I don’t want to ignore you?” He said.

“That makes you a stalker.”

He laughed; it was a tired laugh, more like a sigh.

“You’re the one who came here unannounced; I guess you’re the stalker.” He challenged.

“I’ll leave then.” I said as I got up.

I saw him get up of the bed.

“No, please.” He begged.

He approached me.

“Why did you come here?” He asked.

“I came to give you your book back.” I answered as I pointed as his bedside table.

He turned his head and grabbed the book.

“So you read the note?”

I nodded.

“I-I was desperate when I wrote it…I didn’t know what to do…” His voice cracked.

“I just came to give you the book Louis, I have to leave.” I said in a harsh tone.

He took a few steps forward and got closer to me, too close.

“You know that’s not true, because you stayed. You stayed with me, Taylor.”

“I don’t love you Louis; I don’t want you in my life. I want nothing to do with you, you hurt me.” I said.

And I was trying to hurt him, that way he would stay away from me.

He threw the book to the floor, I could see anger in his eyes and it was scaring me. He had me cornered between the wall and him.

“Don’t tell me you don’t love me when you are here, with my book and you’ve obviously been crying a few moments before coming here.” He said.

I was trapped between his arms.

“How dare you come here and spit at my face? I love you so fucking much and all you do is avoid me and tell me that you can’t forgive me. I’m tired of this Taylor, it’s been a year, I need you, okay? Why can’t you love me in return?” He said resting his lips against my forehead.

“It’s my fault you’re so spiteful, isn’t it? I made you this way…” He whispered.

I closed my eyes, I didn’t want to touch him, but his voice sounded full of sorrow I couldn’t help but place my hands on his chest.

“Things would be much easier if you’d just kiss me right now…I’m yours, Taylor.” He said as he lifted my chin, making me look at him.

If I was as weak as I was a year ago, I swear I would’ve kissed him and I would’ve never let my lips stay away from his, but I wasn’t like that anymore.

I couldn’t help but let a few tears run down my cheek, too many feelings.

“I can’t love you.” I sobbed.

“Don’t say that, don’t say that please…”

His pleas were in vain, but he wasn’t going to stop trying. He caressed my lips with his, and put his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him.

“I love you so much. I love you.” He whispered against my lips. “Say that you love me, you know you do.”

He placed a little kiss on my lips and my heart started racing.

I was about to say it, not because I felt it, but because I was under his spell.

“I can’t love you Louis.” I whispered, my voice cracked.

I knew I broke his heart, because he let me go of his grip. He broke mine first.

“Louis…”

“Leave.” He said.

I lowered my head and walked out of his house. I called a cab and waited for it to show up.

I felt horrible for leaving him, I felt horrible because he needed someone to love him but that couldn’t be me. I couldn’t love him, I couldn’t love anyone.

The cab arrived and I started crying again, somehow giving him back his book was like giving him back everything he said I have. I don’t have him anymore...