Let it Burn

Chapter 1: The beginning has to start somewhere

Dear diary,

Well today is my first entry. Yay for me. I feel so stupid writing this but their making me, they think it will help. But they're wrong! They're all wrong! It won't help, nothing will.

-Kat

I put down my pen and look up at the watching eyes in front of me as doctor Margolia frowns at me. I don't know why, I did what was requested, I did what he told me to do, I wrote about how I felt. What did he expect? He give me a pen and I'd be cured? Pfffft! Some doctor!

My eyes start to wonder around the room. The room I've sat in too many times to count, however it's so different to what it was. Even different to yesterday. The cool blue walls are no longer calming as they once were, but are making me feel closed in and claustrophobic. The pretty vase of fake purple orchards make me feel like crying for all eternity. I think he sensed my discomfort, as he told me I was aloud to leave, and confirmed I was coming back same time tomorrow. Reluctantly I said yes and all but sprinted out of the room and back to my class. I don't know why, but today was worse than the others.

Doctor Margolia is the school councilor. He's kind of tall and lanky, with mousy brown hair and bright green eyes. He's in his mid thirties and is extremely smart, he has a PHD in psychology which makes everyone think that he can make everything better, but they are wrong. Nothing will ever be able to fix this, ever. Even if I see him for the rest of my life.

The bell rings and students start flooding the walkway in a hurry to get to their next lessons. I however take my time, as I slowly make my way to my most dreaded subject, English.

I walk in the door to find that we have a substitute teacher, fantastic. I take a seat in my usual spot; back left corner. I'm not what you would call part of the popular group, and I'm not really a nerd either. I don't really fit into any cliché, unless there's a cliché for a quite girl who jut wants to fit into the crowd and not be noticed, not to mention has no friends? Yeah that would be me.

I wasn't always like this. They say I'm depressed but what do they know? Absolutely nothing that's what! They have no idea, but not everything can be fixed. I learnt that the hard way.

Our substitute introduces herself, but to my surprise she tells us she's our new teacher, which is pretty weird since its the middle of term, but stranger things have happened. It's what happens next that really gets me: she has a seating arrangement, one that has me far away from my comfortable corner and in the middle of the room, right next to Jason Smith, also know as mr. Popular. This year is looking out to be a terrible one.

"Hi Kat, I'm Jason. It's Kat right? I'm sorry if its not, I don't think we've formally met before, so it's nice to meet you" Jason says as he extends his arm out to me

"Ah yeah, and no I don't think we have.. Hi" I reply as I tentatively shake his hand.

"Oh and class" our new teacher Miss Clarke starts, interrupting whatever Jason was about to say to me "I know it's the middle of term, and you're in year 11 so you know most of each other, but I don't so I'm setting you an assignment that you are to do with the person you have been partnered to sit with. The assignment is fairly straight forward and should be pretty easy. I want a 3-4 minute speech about your partner. You have till next Tuesday to do this, but I expect to you to have all the information you need for the speech by the end on the lesson."

I look over at Jason to see him.. Smiling? Why would he be happy about an assessment?

"Okay Kat, what do you need to know about me to write your speech?" He started, and when he realized I wasn't going to say anything he continued. "For starters my name is Jason Smith, no middle name, my parents couldn't come up with one I guess. I live with my cousins as my mum is working in Africa and my father passed away. My favorite colour is blue, not dark blue but not baby blue either. I guess somewhere in between. Kinda like the ocean." He took a breath and gave me a flat look "you should probably be writing this all down, it's very important. Where was I? Oh yeah. I've never been on a plane before but I'd love to go to Paris one day, and when I'm older, my dream is to be a big time music producer. Oh and my mum doesn't really work in Africa, but my cousins are practically brothers to me, and one of them has his own room at our place."

I smiled up at him and said "your name is Jason Smith, no middle name. You live with your cousins as your father unfortunately passed away. You live with your mum and are just super close with your cousins. One in particular. Your favorite colour is Blue, like the ocean. You want to be a music producer when you grow up, and you've never been on a plane. Your really outgoing which to be honest is kinda encouraging and a little intimidating AND no pen necessissory" I state proudly.

"How the.?.!" Jason starts bewildered.

"I have an identic memory" I explained "It can come in handy, but it's no good when there's things that your trying to forget, knowing your brain will never let you." As soon as I realize what I've said it's too late. My hand shots up to my mouth and I start to panic. What if he asks questions about what I'm talking about?

"It's okay Kat, we all have history, bad things that have happened. It's a part of life. Tell me about you for this assignment." I give him a grateful smile before I start to tell him about myself, making sure not to let anything slip, and before I know it, the bell is ringing. That was a very short hour.

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Hi so I've been on Wattpad for a while but I'm new to writing so let me know what you think :) I'd love to have feedback, and hopefully the next chapter will be up within a week.

xx