Equivocality

I, the Maker

It was a late Sunday night. I just got out from work and rain started pouring down in waves upon the city. I was wearing only a t-shirt, a pair of pants and my old but trusty shoes. The water droplets felt like lead pellets upon my now soaked shirt and bare skin. I had to find shelter and fast: lighting struck the sky, illuminating the dark alley I was walking on, while roaring thunders were soon to come. I started walking in a fast pace. Then I started to run. The avalanche of cold water never ceased to fall endlessly; it is as if we were punished. Or rather, I was punished...

In my hurry, I stumbled upon a pile of rubble and landed face-first in a puddle of mud. I groaned and pushed myself up, looking at my ruined clothes. Then I glanced back, only to see darkness. I blinked and took a step forward, only to realize that there was no end to the alley. Only darkness. I gulped and I have started shaking, my hands were trembling, mud and blood mixed together in my palm. I took a step back, only to bump into something; a door. It was old-looking, with moss and cracks covering its surface. Even though it seemingly appeared out of nowhere, I grabbed the knob and went inside. At least I was shielded from the rain.

A sudden ray of light struck my eyes, leaving me blind for a few moments. I had to accommodate in order to be able to see anything at all. The rest of the room seemed to be painted in black and in the middle, on the ceiling, a chandelier casted a constant light everywhere. I wearily took a few steps forward, only to bump my nose into something, making me confused. I glanced forwards: a mud-covered man, with cheap looking clothes, wild and messy hair and a look of confusion on his face. Of course. It was a mirror-room. I merely shrugged, trying to make my way through all the mirrors; starring everywhere and seeing my own reflection glancing back was somewhat disturbing, to say the least. At some point, I stopped, surrounded by mirrors, all looking at me. I just stood there, motionless and seemingly frozen in place and time.

"Why do you linger?" a sudden voice came echoing through the area. I flinched, looking around, only to see my own reflection glaring at me.

"W-what?" I stuttered, looking at the ceiling, glancing at the chandelier and then eventually setting my gaze upon the mirror in front of me, eyeing the reflection that is angry with me.

"Why do you linger?" the voice asked again, now in a more severe and deep tone. Despite all that, it seemingly sounded like...myself. Now that I come to think of it, hasn't that reflection moved its mouth?

"Linger? I don't linger. I'm trapped." I answered reluctantly, taking a few careful steps towards the mirror; my guess was true: the reflection did in fact move. And it looked straight at me, with the same glare. I was merely a few centimetres away from it.

"You're trapped on your own accord. You are the only ruler of your life." and with those words, the reflection's hands busted through the mirror and grabbed my shoulders. I started panicking, flailing my arms around and trying to get back, but he dragged me in with herculean strength.

The shift from one reality to another was brutal. I was drawn in a vortex of colors, planets, stars and galaxies, everything was beyond my comprehension. The being that stood before me was different, though. It was still me, somehow, albeit cleaner, with better clothes, a constant devilish grin on his face, freshly cut hair and seemingly happy. He kept hold of my shoulders until we reached our destination: a floating piece of rock, big enough for at least twenty people to fit on it with enough space between each other; around it...well, around it there was the Universe, in all it's beauty and glory. Stars surrounding everything, little blue and yellow dots in the distance, planets all around and a huge star. It took me a few to realize that it was our Solar System. There's Earth, where I was just a second ago. And there's Jupiter, Mars, Saturn...and there's the Sun looking at the Moon. I stood there, flabbergasted. An eternity wouldn't have been enough for me to assimilate everything that happened.

"I ask you once again. Why do you linger?" the being asked, standing there, tall and proud. I just couldn't help but gaze upon the perfection that stood before me. He was dressed in an expensive suit, his hair was waved backwards in a stylish way, his deep brown eyes were filled with determination. His aura exuded charisma and that constant smirk on his face only accentuated everything.

"I don't linger!" I suddenly yell, my words dripping with rage and disappointment. I felt a great deal of respect towards the one standing before me, I wanted to become everything that he represents. I wanted to pursue my dreams, I wanted to take hold of my life. I wanted to work in a company, perhaps be the head of it, so I can have enough money to help my family. To help others. To pursue greatness. To soar higher. "I just...nothing is going right. All my dreams are but dust. I'm an unhappy man."

"No they are not. They are still there, but not for long. You must pursue your destiny. You are the only ruler of your life." and with those words, a booming sound can be heard, as if a giant hammer struck down onto a rock. I blinked, looking around, only to see it: to my left, a giant being, seemingly floating in space, brought down its hammer onto a round object. It exploded in millions of bits, all swirling through the Universe, each in a different direction. Each piece of rock represented a new Planet. Each held a new life form. Each was the beginning and the end of something. All with one swing of a hammer. The being then came closer to our little rock, glancing down upon us. It simply stood there, mute. It was something to behold. Something out of this world, out of this dimension. Some fanatic Christians would go even as far as saying it's God himself, yet I knew better. Its features were too...similar. That crooked nose, those chestnut eyes holding a flare in them. I stepped back. I glanced at my 'reflection' and he glanced back.

"Do you see now? I am you. And you are me. He is us, and we are him. You are not trapped. You were never trapped. You don't have to be this mud-covered vagabond who goes to work every single day, stays there until the Sun dawns and then comes back to his miserable empty home. You define your own future. You forge your own destiny. You choose whether you are going to sink or you are going to burst through that roof. You choose whether you want to be happy or sad. You are your own ruler. You are your own perfection. You are the only one that can make a change. You are your own Maker."

The words came crashing down onto me like a thunderous bang. I was no longer on a floating rock, surrounded by space and time. I was no longer looking at my dream self or my Maker. I was in a dark alley, occassionaly lit by lightings. I stood there, covered in mud. I stood there, soaking-wet. I stood there, looking at the end of the alley, where I saw people walking by, cars on the road and a few cafes in the distance. I stood there and I starred in the puddle of water in which I fell. I stood there looking at my own reflection, thinking about everything that happened. I stood there, smiling.

Just a thought,

- J. G.