The Nemesis Syndrome

33. Eliza

'No.' The word was out of her mouth before she had even processed what he had said- all that was ringing round her head was alive, blood, alive, blood. Then bullet holes. 'No. They can't-'

'I think its been made clear that they can. And they would.'

'But-'

'I'm sorry.' And he was. She could feel it in her heart that he was- she didn't understand it, but then, there was nothing about any of this that she understood- she could feel that he was hurting.

Because of what he had seen, because he was telling her. Because she didn't trust him.

And she felt stupid guilt for that, which she tried to push down. He didn't deserve her guilt. Not when she remembered pain and...

I don't want, and I do not need you.

I don't deserve that forgiveness.

You'll be okay, Eliza, we're going to get out of this.

She shook her head, rubbing her eyes. She didn't know what was real in this- what she was remembering and what she was thinking happened.

'Eliza?'

'No.' She said again. 'I don't believe you. They have to be okay.'

'Eliza.'

'Don't you dare.' She flew towards him, hands on his chest as she pushed him back into a tree. Shock flared up in his eyes. 'Don't even think about saying my name like that again. I do not want pity. I do not want any of this.' His hands wrapped around her wrists, but he didn't move them, instead, his expression turned gentle as she glared at him, as if he knew her anger, her fear, but also knew she would never actually hurt him. Of course, if they had fought in the pit, he would know everything about her. More than she knew. 'I have nothing if they are dead. Nothing. If they are dead, it will be my fault. Your fault, because of what is on our wrists. So...don't.'

He didn't say a word. Just...stared at her, his fingers warm against her skin. She waited long second, but he only blinked, and she let her head fall onto her hands.

'I don't want anyone to die because of me.' She whispered.

One of his hands let go, and she felt it wrap around her, slowly, as if he was waiting for her to tell him to stop.

'It wouldn't be because of you.' Not a denial. Not telling her anyone- no one else- would die. But maybe it was the only comfort he could give her without lying. 'You have done nothing wrong.' A sigh she felt rather than heard. 'Me, maybe. But you? You have tried to protect everyone, even me, even when I was quite happy to watch you die. But anything that happens, or has already happened? It's not your fault. It's on them. Okay?'

She didn't have an answer to that. Because agreeing would have been a lie.

But she felt his hand on her chin, lifting her head up so she could meet his eyes.

'Okay?' He said again.

She wouldn't lie.

'You called me annoying.'

A glimmer of a smile on his face. 'Yes.'

'And headstrong?'

'Completely.'

'I want you to take me to my house.'

The smile disappeared. 'Stubborn, as well.'

'Please.'

'If I say no, what will you do?'

'Find out how to get there myself.'

'Can you even remember where you live?'

She scowled, pushing away from him, taking steps back so she could no longer feel his heartbeat against her hands. 'No wonder my minds telling me not to trust you.' It was half snapped, but the heat in her voice was not meant for him. Not really. It was frustration, that she was so dependant on someone else. That she had no idea what had happened, what was going to happen.

His mouth tightened at the words, but he didn't comment on them. Just looked away. 'I can't take you there. It would be the first place they look for us.'

'You don't know that.'

'Maybe not, but I wont risk it. They will have eyes on them, Eliza. More now than before, because we escaped. They will know every place we have ever gone, the names of our friends, everything. We cannot go anywhere we know.'

'But my family.'

'I'm sorry.'

She just snorted, turning away from him, kicking the grass.

'Fine.' She muttered. 'Better get moving then, if they will be searching for us.'

'Eliza-'

'Where are we going?'

She didn't look at him, but heard him stalk towards her, pausing just behind. 'How tired are you.'

'I'm fine.'

'I don't want you collapsing half way across a road.'

'I don't want to sleep.' She had slept enough. Too much. If she closed her eyes again...what else would she forget?

'This way.' He said, taking her hand and walking off to the left- how he knew where he was going, she didn't know, since she had already lost the direction they came from.

They walked for what seemed like hours, through a seemingly never ending forest. Over rocks and broken branches. Pausing only when the forest made sounds, Leo's head cocked to the side as he deemed whether it was something to worry about.

He barely said a word to her, other than to mind her steps.

And she said nothing to him, her mind caught up on everything that had happened. Her parents. The heartless way they were being hunted like prey.

And something else. She kept seeing it in her head, the image on a screen in the control room. A little girl, pacing a cell, tear tracks running down her face. A little girl she swore she knew, but couldn't tell from where.

Until...

Eliza froze, her hand dropping Leo's as she stared at him.

'Your sister.' She said suddenly, knowing without a doubt that the girl on that screen was one from a thread of memory, the start of all of this. 'I saw her.'

'What?'

'I didn't know!' She said frantically. She should have said something while they were there. It didn't even matter who the girl was, she was a child. But she had kept it quiet. 'Leo, I didn't know it was her.'

'What are you talking about?'

'She was there. In that building. I saw her while we were in the control room. It was your sister- I remember her...you were walking down a street with her. They have her.'