The Nemesis Syndrome

43. Eliza

She wasn't entirely sure what she was eating. She could taste the sweetness but nothing else, and really, she didn't care. Maybe she should have noticed after so long on the rations they had been fed, but it seemed so small, so little, compared to everything else. Food was food, nothing else mattered.

She wondered how much weight she had lost since this all started. She wondered if she would know herself in the mirror.

Probably not. She wasn't the same person anyway.

So much had changed... she sometimes thought of herself before, her room and her parents and her life, and it was like she was watching a film. Someone else's life, or a life that could never really exist.

Even now, sitting in someone else's house, gazing up at the signs of their life on their walls, she couldn't imagine ever going back to something like this. Safety. Security.

Because these four walls- they didn't mean anything.

No. The only safety there was was the boy upstairs, who was constantly sending her emotions to tell her she was still okay. Who appeared when she needed him and tried to look after her. Safety was not an object. It was Leo.

Not that she would ever tell him that.

She kept eating, the spoon tapping against the side every time she paused. Her hands were still shaking- as was the rest of her- and she hated it. No wonder a house would never be safety for her. Even this room was too small for her- the walls felt as if they were closing in on her every time she looked up. But it was manageable. She knew it wasn't real, though- but that made it worse. Because even her own stupid brain wasn't safe.

She tipped the tin up, drinking the sweet juice before hopping off the chair, unable to sit still anymore. Throwing the tin in the sink, she started looking through the cupboards. Leo had already pulled out most useful things, but she did pick up a bar of chocolate- and a tin of hot chocolate. She didn't care if it was impractical, or if Leo would complain. It was sweet and vital to life, in her eyes.

She heard footsteps and stood up to face Leo as he walked in the room.

'Okay?' He said. His skin was still slightly damp, water still in his hair, and she wondered if he had tried to be quick as not to leave her alone for too long. It would have annoyed her- before- because she didn't think herself weak and in need of that protection. But...

'I'm fine.'

He scowled, walking towards her, tilting her head up so she would look at him. 'And the truth?'

'Leo.'

'Liza.' He mocked.

She pushed him away. 'I'm fine. And stop dropping the E on my name.' Something else she would never admit- that she had wormed her way under his skin enough for him to call her something...more.

'No.' He pinched the chocolate out of her hands. 'I should have known. But you're carrying it.'

'I don't have a bag.'

'Luckily for you, I am a skilled thief.' He walked back to the door and reached behind it, pulling out a small rucksack, stuffing the chocolate and a few other things inside it. 'There.' He said, holding it out to her.

She took it and watched as he picked up another- larger- one, packing it with all the tins. Such a guy- acting like she couldn't carry as much.

'We have two choices.' He said. 'Stay here and crash for the night, hoping the owners are away for longer than a day. Or go back out to the woods, camp there and stay around here for more empty houses when we need them.'

Eliza was tired. But she couldn't bare the thought of sleeping inside. Being trapped. Not knowing what every noise was. 'Woods.' She said, pushing past him.

But he grabbed her wrist. 'Eliza.' He said softly. 'Are you okay?'

'I don't know what that means anymore.'

She didn't wait for an answer. A part of her didn't want to see the look on his face at her words.