Broken

Liar

I've spent far too many nights staying in
With tear stained cheeks and blood on my skin.
I start each day in the same old way
My thoughts jumbled up in a blob of grey.

I wipe my eyes, then line them in black.
I hate you reality, but I'm coming back.
If I lived to see tomorrow, I wouldn't care.
Each day I return to the same nightmare.

I hear them complain about the smallest of things.
They don't know my demons are much bigger.
But I keep my mouth shut and never speak up.
For fear I'll be their trigger.

I fake happiness. They're so easy to trick.
That stupid smile always plastered on my face.
Nobody wonders what's racing through my mind
When they see me staring into space.

No one ever looks in these dark pools of green,
To find my emotions are not what they seem.
Bracelets and bandages hide these angry red lines.
They stop asking questions after "I'm fine."

I'd never admit that I just want to quit.
They think whatever it is, I can handle it.
My smile is sunshine, but my thoughts cut like a knife.
They're unaware I consider ending my life.

It's a matter of time before my sanity cracks.
And once I'm gone, I'm never coming back.
You can think all you want that I'm happy.
You see me grinning, but my eyes mutter "Kill me."

Still I'll never say a word
About how much it hurts.
Death is my only desire.
Depression has made me such a liar.