Broken

Broken Wings

I met a boy with golden eyes
And a magnetic personality.
He smiled at me when our eyes met,
And I wondered why he talked to me.

He struck up a conversation every day.
I listened, and spoke back.
I still felt shy. It was just to be polite.
With strangers, I act like that.

"He's just the new kid" I told myself.
He's attached to me until he makes friends.
But my initial thoughts were wrong.
The visits didn't come to an end.

We were friends pretty quickly.
It escalated to something more.
I got butterflies I couldn't explain.
I wish I'd known what was in store.

I wasn't always myself around him.
I was all giggles, jokes, and smiles.
He had no idea that under this mask
Was a miserable, bitter child.

For a while, he cheered me up.
Made me forget I was severely depressed.
He always knew how to make me laugh.
He made my heart jump out of my chest.

He was mine and I was his.
Just two teens under the illusion of love.
I wondered if he was the one.
Was he my soul mate sent from above?

One day I decided to confess the truth.
Didn't think I needed to hide.
I pulled out my heart, laid it on the table
And showed him what's inside.

I told him that I was in therapy.
Curious, he asked why.
I said it's cause I cut my skin,
And often want to die.

He frowned and held me close.
He said that he would miss me.
He told me I was beautiful.
And then leaned in to kiss me.

I smiled and sighed contently.
I could now just be myself.
Depressed or not, he wouldn't think differently.
No need to pretend I'm someone else.

I took off my mask and gradually learned
That he was wearing one too.
I thought his heart was pure and sweet.
But that was far from true.

He thought that he could fix me.
He said he'd never let me down.
But he couldn't mend my broken wings.
He let me fall and hit the ground.

Through good times and bad,
He said he'd ease my pain.
But he left and ran for cover
The second it began to rain.

I guess I was too complicated.
He just walked out and gave up.
I thought I was his only one.
But I never was enough.

He can find himself another girl.
Maybe one with fewer scars.
My feelings for him are dead and gone.
He ripped them all apart.

We were never right for each other.
It was a disaster from the start.
I need someone who sees my light.
And loves all my dark.

My heart says "Maybe someday."
My head says "Ha. Yeah right."
I'll never find that special someone
To keep me warm at night.

Silly me for thinking
That he actually cared.
I'm a fool for forgetting
My feelings aren't to be shared.

This time I'll rebuild my walls.
This time I'll be clever.
I should know by now that love is a lie.
I'll just be alone forever.