Cigarettes and Suicide

Chapter Five

The trip back was quiet. Levi stared at the ground the whole time and I tried to start conversations but he shot them down with grunts. Something was wrong as far as I could see.

"Brat..." He said.

"Yes?" I asked, slightly looking at him.

"What do you do when you feel like... cutting?" He asked.

"Um... I used to give myself a tattoo job with sharpies..." I snickered.

"So you... drew away the fetish?" He asked, continuing to  glare at the ground. I nodded.

"When I was big on cutting, I would slash my arms and my legs, thighs and stomach, once even my own wrist..." I say. Levi looks up at me, saddened. "But Armin stopped me by stealing all my razors and knives and scissors and everything sharp..." I stare ahead, feeling Levi's eyes on me. "He soon came back with a shit ton load of sharpie markers and said, 'color on your skin when you need to cut' He left then..." I say, Levi stared at the ground. 

"I wish I could do that... color my skin when I need to cut..." He said.

"I still have the markers..." He looks at me.

"Can I... use them?" He asked.

I nod and arrive at my own room, Levi following me and plopping down on my somewhat neat bed. He looks around.

"Your room is filthy..." He says in slight disgust. 

"So is your tone of voice." I said back in a slight mocking tone.

He growls and lays on my bed as I pull the tub of Sharpies and pens out, opening the box and taking a black, fine tip point marker and slowly start a design. I sense Levi sit up and watch me, curious and I show him the flower. He smiles and grabs a couple coulors, starting to shade in the flower's petals.

"It's beautiful." I say, commenting on his shading. He shrugs.

"Nothing special, done it before..."He Continues concentrating on the petals.

This is what hit me, a separate reality. I've seen Levi concentrate before, but nothing like this. His eyes were glued to the petals like they were his favorite TV show. His eyes wandered my skin then went back to work. It seemed so different. He was glued. Not only his eyes, but his hands. 

His hand wandered on my arm for a short period of time and I looked away, letting him have his fun. He traced little lines on my arm and smiled softly as I could see from the side of my eyes. Levi looked happy and he seemed pleased. He connected the lines and put little swirls at the ends of some of them and others he left straight. I felt him start to shade the petals. 

"Levi..." I say and he looks up at me, stopping what he was doing. "I think you would be an excelent tattoo artist." I say and he gives a shy look.

"Really?" He asked, his face plastered with the mask of no emotion. I was a little worried that maybe I had said something wrong. "I suppose so..." He said. I looked at him. "I mean I did draw this..." I look down and see the most beautiful black and red rose in my life.