Silent night (antisepticeye and Darkiplier)

Waking Up

Sean's POV

Mark drove us back to my house... I didn't have the will power or energy to do it. I couldn't cry any more either... I could hardly stand to breathe. Michelle was my everything... And now she was just gone. That was easier than I expected. I heard jack whisper in my ear.

I can almost feel the tears again... It was all his fault. He had to ruin everything... Why hadn't I listened to Michelle about dealing with that stuff... All of this would have been avoided. You know there is on way, all this pain can disappear. It's amazing what one tiny blade can do... Bring us to our loved ones.

I hate to admit it... But he was right... When we arrived back at my house I placed a hand on mark's shoulder. "Can I talk to you please..." I said.

He looked at me, his eyes red and puffy from crying. "Yeah what's up?" He asked as I led him into the back room.

I turned. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I was so unsure about what I was going to ask him to do... "Mark, I need your help with something?"

Mark looked at me with such sympathy painting his brown eyes. "Of course, anything." He said.

What I was about to ask was going to stretch him levels. I have no idea how to ask this... I looked around the room and grabbed Michelle's pocket knife off of the bedside table. I stared down at it coldly. I could see the worry in Mark's eyes. I felt absolutely horrible about having to even bring it up to him... But I wasn't strong enough to do this myself. This was so unlike me... I know, it's like me... Am I getting to you Sean?

He was right though... He was getting to me, and I was going to take his advice. I shoved the closed knife into Mark's hand. I was shaking, so was he. "Sean... What are you expecting me to do?" He asked, his voice was shaking and I could hear the tears he was fighting back.

He knew exactly what I wanted him to do... I rolled up my arm sleeve but I sank to the bed, and started to cry. "Please Mark... I can't do this without you." I said crying.

Mark placed the knife on the bedside table. "Sean... It's okay, you will get past this." He said.

How did he know... What if she was the one I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with And my stupidity got her killed! I grabbed a hold of the knife and flipped it open. Mark grabbed a hold of my hand making sure I didn't use the knife. "Mark.. Don't. This is my choice." I said coldly...

Mark held my arm tightly. "I am not going to let you throw your life away because of that demon! You need to wake up!" He yelled at me.

I wasn't listening. I just shoved him off of me and lowered the knife to my wrist. Suddenly Rachael came booming in. "What the hell are you two-" she noticed the knife and how close it was to my own wrist. Before I knew it her fist made contact with my face. "Are you fucking kidding me! How could you... I have had to deal with this from Michelle, and I am not going through it again!" She boomed at me.

I held my face but didn't dare look at her as she took the knife and threw it across the room. What did she mean she had to deal with this from Michelle?

She grabbed a hold of Michelle's Art book. She was ripping through the pages. "Rach, what are you-" Rachael threw her hand up cutting me off as she found the page.

She shoved the book into my stomach and tears started to fall down her face. I looked down at what she was trying to show me... It was Michelle's art project that she refused to show me... An I understand why. It was of me, I was smiling in the picture with my headphones on and my green vibrant hair. My hero written in large green letters across the top above my head. "Do you know that Michelle had depression? She was this close so many times but you know wha kept her going? You, your videos, always telling her to love her self an continue fighting. You are the only reason she has been living this long and you are going to just throw that all away!!!! She would be disappointed in you." She said to me.