Tsukishima Kei did not fall in love. He didn't care about a lot of things, but love was number one on that list. He saw no point to it. All love was good for was ending in heartbreak and that wasn't something he wanted to deal with. He didn't want to deal with the other person's tears and whining whenever he decided he just couldn't do it anymore. He didn't want to deal with the valentine's days and anniversaries and birthdays and everything else that went into being in love and being in a relationship. He didn't care about any of it. He didn't want to care about any of it.
Yamaguchi Tadashi did fall in love. He cared about a lot of things and love was one of them. It wasn't number one, that place always went to his best friend, but he still cared about it. He saw love to be one of the greatest things. He, well, loved love. He wanted everything that came with it. He wanted to deal with it all. He wanted someone to love him. He wanted the valentine's days and then anniversaries and birthdays and everything that went into being in love and being in a relationship. He loved it all. He cared about it all. He wanted it all. It was all he wanted.
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Only fools fall for you, only fools. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.
"Tsukki."
Tsukishima grunted in response.
"Have you ever thought about your future?"
"Sure."
"Do you think you'll get married?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Love is stupid and marriage is just a piece of paper."
"That's all you think about it?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
"Just do."
Yamaguchi stayed quiet. He knew Tsukishima didn't love him. He had figured that out a long time ago. He had hoped that over time things would change, but they never did. They were twenty years old and Tsukishima still had the same view of love that he did whenever they were thirteen. He didn't care and Yamaguchi was fairly certain that he never would.
"Don't you have a reason for not liking love?"
"I just think it's stupid."
"But why?"
"It's a waste of money."
"You don't have to spend money on the person."
"I still don't care."
The room grew quiet and Yamaguchi decided to be bold and speak up.
"Tsukki?"
"What?"
"I like you."
"I know, we're friends."
"No, I mean I love you."
Tsukishima scrunched up his nose.
"Sorry, I don't feel the same."
Yamaguchi looked away. He wasn't sure he could bear to look at him because every time he did he just saw a future. He assumed they would always be friends and maybe even be together and that was all he wanted. He wanted a little house in the country and a pool and a field for their children to run a play. He wanted a living room for throwing parties in and quiet nights with only them.
He looked back at Tsukishima and his heart shattered. Out of all the people in the world he just had to fall for him. Stupid, grumpy, whiny, rude, mean, old love hating Tsukishima Kei. It would have been easier trying to steal Kageyama from Hinata than trying to get Tsukishima to fall in love with him.
"Do you think you ever will?"
"No."
"Never?"
"I don't fall in love, Tadashi."
Yamaguchi knew he was serious then so he simply nodded and swallowed back his tears.
"So no. I will never feel the same."
"O-o-okay."
"I've gotta go. I'll be back later."
Tsukishima got up and left, leaving Yamaguchi alone in their dorm room. He curled up on his bed and tried to hold back tears.
I am tired of this place, I hope people change. I need time to replace what I gave away and my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small, though I try to resist I still want it all.
He knew it would take time to heal; he had been in love with Tsukishima for as long as he could remember. He was sure he would come around; no one can hate love forever. Everyone falls in love with someone at least once in their life and Yamaguchi was sure that Tsukishima's person was going to be him. They spent so much time together so how could it not be him?
I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes. I see a little house on the hill and children's names. I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray, but everything is shattering and it's my mistake.
Tears ran down Yamaguchi's face and he clutched his alpaca plushy tightly to his chest. He shouldn't have confessed. If he hadn't confessed then he could have lived blissfully in his imagination.
Only fools fall for you, only fools. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall. Only fools fall for you, only fools. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.
Ignorance is bliss, but Yamaguchi knew he was just a plain fool.
Oh, our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this. The differences and impulses and your obsession with the little things, you like stick, and I like aerosol. I don't give a fuck, I'm not giving up, I still want it all.
Yamaguchi knew Tsukishima was an angry person. He got mad at tiny things and he yelled sometimes just to be yelling but Yamaguchi still thought he was amazing and all he wanted was a family.
Only fools fall for you, only fools. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall. Only fools fall for you, only fools. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall. I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes. I see a little house on the hill and children's names. I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray, but everything is shattering and it's my mistake.
Yamaguchi had put so much thought into his imaginary future with Tsukishima that he didn't even think about what would happen if he actually confessed. He was too busy living in his head where Tsukishima loved him that it never occurred to him that he might actually leave him. He put too much into a relationship that didn't exist and he ended up hurt.
Only fools fall for you, only fools fall. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall. Only fools fall for you, only fools fall. Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.
Yamaguchi Tadashi was a fool. Only fools fall for someone as heartless and love-hating as Tsukishima Kei. Only fools fall for him.
Only fools fall for you (only fools). Only fools do what I do (only fools). Only fools fall for you (only fools). Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.
Yamaguchi Tadashi was nothing but a fool. A fool with a broken heart.
