Save Me And I'll Save You

I'm trying But believe me I'm fine But I'm lying, I'm so very far from fine

It had been four months since Tyler had gotten out of hospital, and he was slowly but surely getting better, in small, unsure steps like a child walking for the first time. The first month had been the worst, the singer had been just as bad as he had been before hospital, deep gashes in his arms, four times in that month Josh had, had to make his new found lover throw up mixtures of alcohol and pills, it got to the point where Josh had to lock all of the medication and alcohol away where Tyler couldn't get it. Although towards the end of the month Tyler began to let his feelings show, going to Josh after a break down left his arms shredded as if he had put them in a blender, however Josh never once complained or tried to make him stop, simply held him close and traced his cuts and scars while they watched films and had popcorn. Second month, The suicide attempts lessened, and stopped by the end, he more often went to Josh and collapse on him crying, telling him he didn't want to live anymore, that BLURRYFACE was angry, and wanted him dead. However every time, Josh sat for hours, telling Tyler all of his perfections, telling the singer everything he liked about him,giving him reasons to keep living. Making Him shut up. The self harm also lessened in severity, the deep gashes slowly becoming shallower, and less. His arms were slowly beginning to look , well, like arms again, rather than mangled scraps of flesh on bone. The third month, the self harm was stopping, and Tyler was starting to eat again, and go to Josh more when he wanted to take a blade to his skin, once that month he had done it, but instantly after he was sobbing apologies into Josh, holding onto him while his emotions ran free. They were now on the fourth month, back on tour, for once Tyler's arms and neck were free of warpaint, showing the scars that ran the length and width of his arms, and the fading one around his neck, he'd decided it was time for his fans to know what was going on. Currently, Tyler and Josh were curled up backstage, Tyler cuddled up against Josh's chest, half asleep as the smaller male hummed to him, the support band up on stage was riling up the crowd for Twenty Øne Piløts' set. Tyler listened carefully for the band leaving the stage, moving off of Josh so the other male could go up on stage first. Josh smiled at the taller and kissed his forehead as he stood up and jogged out onto the stage, waving and grinning out to the crowd that was screaming their names. He walked back u p to the drum kit and sat, tapping the kick pedal "Everybody! Shout for Tyler! c'mon! show him your love!"  He shouted over the screaming crowd, within seconds he had the full crowd chanting along to the kicking of the bass drum. The crowd screamed as Tyler ran out onto the stage, launching straight into song, seeing as Josh had set the beat for him. 

~"I don't wanna fall, fall away

I don't wanna fall, fall away
I'll keep the lights on in this place
'Cause I don't wanna fall, fall away

I don't wanna fall, fall away

I don't wanna fall, fall away
I'll keep the lights on in this place

'Cause I don't wanna fall, fall away"~

The singer was pacing around the stage as he sung/rapped, closing his eyes to listen to the screams and shouts, as well as the majority  of the crowd singing along, with the occasional "I love you Tyler/Josh" being screamed.

~"I disguise

And I will lie
And I will take my precious time
As the days melt away
As I stand in line
And I die as I wait as I wait on my crime
And I'll try to delay what you make of my life
But I don't want your way,
I want mine
I'm dying and I'm trying
But believe me I'm fine
But I'm lying,
I'm so very far from fine"  

"And I, I can feel the pull begin

Feel my conscience wearing thin
And my skin

It will start to break up and fall apart"

"I don't wanna fall, fall away

I don't wanna fall, fall away
I'll keep the lights on in this place

'Cause I don't wanna fall, fall away"

"Every time I feel selfish ambition

Is taking my vision
And my crime is my sentence
Repentance is taking commission
It's taking a toll
On my soul
I'm screaming submission and,
I don't know if I am dying or living
'Cause I will save face
For name's sake
Abuse grace
Take aim to obtain a new name
And a newer place
But my name is lame
I can't walk and I ain't the same
And my name became
A new destiny to the grave"

"And I, I can feel the pull begin

Feel my conscience wearing thin
And my skin,
It will start to break up and fall apart

I don't wanna fall, fall away
I don't wanna fall, fall away
I'll keep the lights on in this place

'Cause I don't wanna fall, fall away"~

Instead  of launching into another song, Tyler walked up to the front of the stage and placed the mic into the stand, he waited for the crowd to quieten before speaking "Hey , it's been a while. I'mma make this quick 'cause you all came here or the songs not me droning on. this past couple of years I haven't been OK. I've been... well, depressed. Badly depressed. These past four months I've been battling with a little something in my head i call BLURRYFACE.  Those of you in the clique that kind of sussed it out, you were right. BLURRYFACE is  the personification of the voice in my head telling me i can't do anything, telling me that i'm worthless. I'm actually sorry to say, but four months ago i was in hospital not really fighting for my life after an overdose on any medication i could find. The only reason i'm here and getting better is because of Josh. He's pulled me through it all, and i wanna thank him for that.. Josh, could you come up here for a sec buddy?" Tyler asked as he looked back to the male mentioned, smiling as the pink haired male rose clueless from his drums and walked over to stand beside Tyler. Tyler gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him up into a kiss, his eyes tightly closed. Josh didn't even manage to kiss back before Tyler pulled away again "Thank you Josh, for everything. I love you." Tyler smiled down at him, before looking out at the crowd again, giving then a smile and a wave before pushing Josh back towards the drums "Alright! Next song!" Tyler called as he grabbed the mic back and began walking around the stage again. They played the rest of their set with minimal mishaps, the occasional word went missing while Tyler rapped/sang, but nothing more than that. After the set had finished Tyler found himself being swept up off his feet and carried off the stage, he wrapped his skinny arms around Josh's neck to keep himself up, even though he trusted Josh with his life this was simply an automatic response. he rested his head on the smaller's shoulder as he was carried off to the meet and greet, clinging to him once they were there. Tyler sighed as he had to let go and stand up, he lent against Josh once he was back on the floor, lazily standing with fans as pictures were taken, signing things messily when they were shoved in his face. he yawned to himself, tired from the days events, he wasn't used to the tour life yet, especially after having four months of nothing but staying at home with Josh, relaxing when he wasn't emotionally tearing apart. "Joshieee i'm tired can we go back to the bus?"He asked tiredly, rubbing his eye as he climbed up the  smaller male and clung onto him. He blushed as Josh chuckled at him, closing his eyes to listen to Josh's response."Sure Ty" The pink haired male smiled as he held onto Tyler and began walking towards their bus, gratefully smiling at the people who moved so they could  get there. Once inside,  Josh walked straight to the bunk rooms, and to the back compartment, which had been converted into a bed, pretty much. He placed the almost asleep Tyler on the bed gently, quickly changing him into comfier  clothes, before getting changed himself and climbing in beside his lover, wrapping his arms around Tyler''s skinny frame.   "I love you Tyler" He mumbled into the taller's upper back as he closed his eyes to go to sleep. "I love you too Josh" Came Tyler's sleepy reply as he rolled over and curled up into Josh' s chest, holding the front of the smaller's shirt, falling asleep as he placed his head on the drummers chest, lulled into slumber by his heartbeat and soft humming.

//A/N This fanfic is my vent place :) i hope you enjoy this, i'll try to keep it updated . give me ideas in the comments for oneshots, i do smut and fluff (and kinks) ;P

Omfg this one is so long i'm sorry!!!

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