A/N Hello my loves! So this is my new Fanfic! I hope that you all will like it! I hope that I will be updating at least once a week! Im trying my hardest to make it good so you all wont loose interest!
Anyways enjoy the first chapter <3
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I'm still in love with him. I remember when I first met him, I fell for the way he looked into my eyes, and said "I'm not leaving".When he held me tight and wouldn't let go, to when he would kiss my forehead and put my hair behind my ear, and say
"Now I can see those beautiful eyes". His body pulls me in so fast. They way he said my name it would get me drunk. I remember when I use to look at him, that i would only see us, no one else. Cliche yes, but that was the way I felt. I did not know that I could fall for someone in that way. The thing was I did fall, and when I did I felt in my heart, soul, my being. When he was around I knew that I would be okay, but when he left, he left me alone, lost, not able to breath.
What scares me the most is that I've become addicted to the pain he caused me.
I hate to know that just 4 years ago I would have never thought that I would be here without him. I took them, all of them. I found my blades, I cut and did not stop. The rush I felt, was the same rush I felt when he said "I love you" while kissing me, walking us to the bed, laying us down.
"STOP!!!!" I keep screaming but it seems they dont hear me. I was like this once before, before I had met him. It almost took me then, but somehow he calmed the storm that in my mind. These thoughts, they are like transparent hands round my neck, the only suficating part, they still let me breath
Then just like that I was pulled outta my thoughts. I hear the loud click from the door. I did not look up, I knew what they were here for, to poke me, to tell me to take these and your meal will be here within the hour. I have been here for 3 years, I do not think I'll ever be able to leave. Unless I take my own life and finally suceed. I stopped wrtiting letters after the second month I was here, I wrote to him (I still write to him) I wrote to my parents, my other 'friends', I got nothing, not once. I just gave up.
I let out a sigh "The best of us find happines in misery. Right?"
