chamomile / m.c.

one;

so, this is going to be kind of a filler chapter.  this is going to like.. teach you a little bit about the main character and her backstory. there are mentions of abuse and alcoholism in this chapter, so if you're easily triggered, read at your own risk. also, this chapter will be in first person. like i said, it's a filler. it's going to tell you a lot about the character. 

-

  may 1st, 2015

"We're so sorry for your loss, your father was a good man." But, he wasn't. What kind of good man abuses his children after they've been through so much already? 

Our mother passed away a year ago from a heart attack and ever since, our father, my brother and me, we were never the same. I guess our mother was the glue that kept us from killing each other. Our father wasn't a good person, honestly. He wasn't exactly a deadbeat, but he wasn't father of the year, either. He took care of us financially, but nothing more than that. 

Our father was an alcoholic ― everyone that knew us, knew that and knew he wasn't a fit father, so when our mother passed, my older brother, Luke, got custody of me. I was seventeen at the time. 

Now I'm eighteen, and standing in the same place that I was standing over a year ago ― in a funeral home, mourning over the loss of a parent, except I'm not exactly mourning this time. I'm standing by a closed casket, my older brother by my side as distant relative after distant relative walk up to us with sympathy in their eyes, and make up some bullshit lie about how good of a man my father was - how he was a family man, how he was so sweet and so kind and he didn't deserve to go out this way and how it was so unexpected for him to pass. 

It's ironic that they say that, considering my father was an alcoholic and he died from alcohol poisoning. 

That's my biggest fear - that when I die, people are going to shower me with kind words because I've passed, but not because I was actually a good person who completely deserved the kind words. 

―

"Yeah, I'd like to say a few words." I spoke up, and it's like Luke knew what was coming. He knew I was finally going to call everyone on their shit. He gave me a look - a look of warning, telling me not to go through with this, but nothing could stop me at this point. 

Tapping the microphone with the pad of my finger, I breathed out a heavy sigh, my blue eyes flickering over the crowd - over all of my family, over my brother and his three best friends who came for moral support.

"My father, Phillip," I started, a laugh spilling over into the microphone, though my laugh lacked my usual humor and it was clear that my voice was edging at something more than a loving farewell to my father. "Was a piece of shit, to be nice about it. He was an abusive and toxic person who wore his ass as a hat, so instead of coming up to me and my brother with your bullshit lies about how my dad was a good man who didn't deserve to die like this, even though he did it to himself, save yourself the breath and walk away because I don't want to hear it." I finished, a cynical smile on my features. My brother simply sat in the front row of seats, it was like he was frozen in place - and as much I wanted to keep going, I couldn't. I couldn't keep going with my cynical, and terribly true speech because my older brother needed me to stop, so without another word, I stepped off. 

-

"I'm proud of you." Luke spoke up from the front seat, glancing back at me and Calum, another one of his friends, who was sitting in the backseat. We were on the way back home - a large, five bedroom house that all of us lived in - us being Calum, Michael, Ashton, Luke and me. Yeah, it sounds hectic, but it's not that bad. Luke and the other boys aren't home a lot, considering they're always on the road with touring, and photoshoots and interviews and other things that they have to do as a band. I have only been with them a handful of times because I had school and work, but I finished school, and Luke has been talking about having me quit my job and start touring with them. I'm not sure if I'm going to accept or decline because on one hand, it would be so fun to see new things and eat in new places, but on the other hand, I would be sharing a tour bus with four men. 

"You're proud of me? For what?" I murmured, glancing up from the window that I was staring out of. "For calling everyone out on their shit. I'm proud of you. You did something that nobody has ever had the courage to do, and I'm proud of you, Cam." His words caused me to smile, and for the first time in months, it was a genuine smile, not a cynical smile or a forced smile, a genuine smile. 

-

"You guys' movie choices suck, really. I'm not even trying to be an ass about it, but The Godfather? Really? Do you guys even know what it's about?" I scoffed, though my words were playful, glancing at the TV that was playing the movie and then at Calum and Ashton, who had fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. "No, but I mean, it looks cool. Their accents are cool." Michael spoke up, causing me to huff, my smile widening as I glanced at Michael, who was on one side of me, and then at Luke who was at the other. With my head falling to Luke's shoulder and his arm wrapping around me, I leaned into his side and hummed. I don't think I realized how exhausted I was until now, it had been a long day. With the funeral and the burial and I was tired, but this was the first time in months that I actually got to sit down with these boys and have dinner and watch a movie, and I didn't want it to end. "C'mon, princess, go to sleep." Luke whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my head, causing me to hum once again. Luke was always /that/ big brother. You know, the big brother who was protective and loving, but he was also that big brother that would push you into the pool and pick on you. 

I missed him a lot - maybe,  I would take him up on his offer and go on tour with him and the boys. 

- 

Okay, so I'm actually about 80% that this is fucking terrible, but two of my friends said it wasn't that bad and I haven't slept in two days because I finally got a laptop so I can actually write and update this story. This chapter is super short, like I said, it's just a filler type thing, you know? I promise the next update will be longer and more exciting than this one. I hope this told you enough about Cam and her relationship with her brother and his friends. If you have any questions that pertain to the story, Cam or any of the other characters, feel free to ask and I'll answer anything. Even if the question is as simple as "what is Cam's favorite movie?"