Bad Meets Good

You Don't Realize It

London’s POV

After I had woke up I couldn’t go back to sleep. I tried several times and it resulted in me waking back up. I knew I wasn’t in my bed but that wasn’t the reason. A fragment of it was because he wasn’t here beside me. But the main reason was all of the thoughts and emotions running through my mind. I woke up with guilt flooding inside me. It shouldn’t of had been me feeling guilty but I was and it wouldn’t go away. I’m the type of person that needs to get something off of their chest in order to feel better. Let's say, I cursed my parents out because they were getting on my nerves. In the spur of the moment I wouldn’t care about my words and actions but I would eventually as time passes. I can’t go to sleep knowing that I said, “Fuck you mom and fuck you too dad! You guys need to learn how to shut the fuck once in a while and mind your own goddamn business”.... I don’t think anyone can.

I softly smiled over at him as he neared the bed and sat down alongside my outstretched legs under the duvets. I moved them back and sat in a pretzel position, giving him more room so he wouldn’t be on the edge of the mattress, a look of appreciation in his actions as he moved over.

I lifted my head up took a glance up at his face. His locks were messily arranged all over his head but it still managed to suit him. Just from his body language alone, I could see how on edge he was. Bottom lip placed in between teeth. His right knee bouncing up and down unconsciously and I frowned faintly. It wasn’t exactly my plan to make him nervous but I shoved it to the back of my mind.

“Harry,” I began while combing through my brunette hair and letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. He held his head up at the sound of my voice and his eyes locked on my own making me ten times more nervous. Confronting someone is so foreign to me and his eyes looking directly at me weren’t making it any better either, it felt like his eyes were penetrating through mine. I took a deep breath before continuing. “It’s not me who doesn’t have the trust, it’s you.”

“That’s not tr—,”

“Yes it is” I said, silencing him. His parted his lips back to together and attentively watched me. I could see the look of bewilderment in his face when I cut him off midsentence. The same look I had when he did the same to me.

“You purposely said I didn’t have faith in you just because of what I said to Carter. You took your rage from that whole altercation out on me because you felt it was the right thing to do at the moment because you didn’t have anyone else to take it out on. Right?” I questioned. I watched as he averted his gaze from my own, giving me conformation that my assumption was correct.

“What exactly are you trying to say?” he asked, looking up at me for a brief second.

“You don’t trust yourself.” I said rather bluntly. All those hours I spent walking made me think about his sudden outburst and what was bothering him.

I watched as he lowered his head down and I knew I cracked a piece of him open.

“You fear that you are going to treat me just like all of the others you were with. Which is why, you were mad at Carter when he said he didn’t want me to get hurt by you. You knew that he was right because of all the times you’ve done it already in the past. You even admitted yourself that you’re no good for me. You can’t just go around saying stuff like that Harry. You don’t trust that you can be a better person and move on from your old behaviors.” I explained with genuineness. I didn’t even know where all of this confidence was coming from when I spoke. I extended my hand out and tilted his chin up with the pad of my thumb.

“Look at me please” I begged and he nodded, lifting his head up. I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable and ashamed of himself.

He opened his mouth to say something but it immediately closed back.