BLUE (boyxboy)(bromance)

xx | For Carl

But I lost myself when I lost you
But I still got jazz when I've got those blues
And I lost myself when I lost you
And I still get trashed, darling, when I hear your tunes.

"You lost the guy who never even once owned you."

I had a dream, back in April 01 of 2015. I woke up in a familiar place, our classroom. Inside, was you sitting on a mono-bloc chair, guarding my cold corpse inside a coffin. The classroom is so calm, more like it's white than it had been. I saw myself standing beside you, and as I saw your face. You're sad, I never saw you sad. I know you're the kind of guy who will do anything just to be happy, and maybe that's what I like about you. That you don't give a damn about everything.

Everyone keeps on visiting me, but you're still sitting in the chair. And I saw my Mama, she talked to you but you never did speak. More like, you're flabbergasted. I don't like seeing you this way, I never thought I'd cry again. When I saw you got tired of watching me. I can't hold back my tears anymore. That's why I decided maybe, I can go back to my body. I went nearer to my coffin, thensaw everything turn to black.

And I saw myself again, inside another classroom. Standing, hearing the sound of the bell. Telling us it's time to go home. I saw you went out of the hall, with no one else with.

I ran as fast as I can to reach you and hug you.

I finally spoke the words I held back for a long-long time.

"I love you."

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I soulfully dedicate this story to the guy who once became my dream. Carl, you don't know how much I suffered because of you. But still, I'm thankful at least you taught me how to love, you taught me how to feel alive once again. To love myself again. I don't know if you're reading this, you don't even have a wattpad account so I think it's safe. I wrote this story as a result of finally getting over you. I will always do cherish the moment we had together, even though for you I'm just a friend. You once meant everything to me, now you were never the world to me. You told me, I deserve someone better than you. Yet up until now I'm still looking for that someone. You were my summer when I was in the winter of my life. You were my only summer.

I lost you, in real life.
You lost me in my dreams.

© 052016