The best friend (One Direction Fanfic) *completed*

Chapter 29

~Katy's POV~

The next thing I knew was waking up in my bed, snuggled up in the blankets and with the rays of sunshine enlightening the room. I sat up and pushed the blankets off of me but pull them up again short after because it's way too cold in my bedroom. I look down at myself and realize that I'm still wearing the clothes from yesterday. I look around the room, but there's nothing special.

Then I start frowning. When did I come up here? I can't remember anything after snuggling up with Zayn on the couch and watching a part of Finding Nemo. I must've fallen asleep and he brought me up here. How sweet! But where's he now? He's not up here with me, so he must went home after he carried me in my bed. I rub the last bit of sleep out of my eyes before finally pushing the blankets off and standing up. I hurry to the bathroom and strip out of my clothes. I'm feeling sweaty, because I slept all night in the same clothes as I was wearing yesterday, so I decide to take a shower.

The hot water massages my back and I feel really relaxed. I love hot showers. They always make me feel better and I can forget the rest of the world. And in this time of my life, it's pretty good when I can shut all my problems and worries out and just close my eyes and feel great. I know that I can't ignore them forever, even if for now, it seems like a good thing to do. 

After my forty-five minutes shower, I blow dry my hair and put on a pair of sweats along with a tank top. I pull my hair in a pony tail and fish a pair of pink fuzzy out of my drawer that I wear immediately, before my feet can get cold. I hate having cold feet. It feels uncomfortable and the only thing you want to do is snuggling up in front of the tv and watching romantic comedies. And that's not what I've planned for today. I want to figure my life out and finally make a decision. Because that's only fair, for Zayn, for Niall and for me too. They are both great guys and even if love them both, I need to tell one of them that we won't be together, that we're just friends and nothing more. And this one is Niall.

He needs to stop thinking that we can be more than friends, one day. He'd ruined his chance, the day he stopped contacting me when I was head-over-heels for him. He broke my heart and even if I'm acting like I'm completely over it, I'm not and he will always be the first boy who broke my heart. You can't forgive the person that made you fall in love with them and then left so easily and I hope that, one day, Niall will understand that I will always love him, but that my subconscious will always be there to remind me of all the pain he's put me through. And that's a lot of pain. I shudder on ly at the thought of me lying in bed all day, with my hand clutched tightly around my phone, waiting for it to vibrate in my hand while the warm tears ran down my face.

It seemed like yesterday when my mom needed to call the director and tell him that I wasn't coming to school, because I hadn't slept all night and my eyes were blood-shoot from the hours of crying I had been through. These nights are a thing of the past, but I can still imagine myself lying in bed, crying, while my mother brought me tea and hot soups, even if I didn't eat any of it. After a year without Niall, I'd lost 14 lbs and had changed my view on the world.

I didn't trusted anyone anymore and I couldn't find anything that made life worth living. I had fallen into a hole of sadness and i couldn't find the way out anymore, so my mom sent me to a therapist. It was a nice old lady that really tried to help me, but I was way too stubborn and used to the constant sadness, that I wouldn't let her help me. She gave me a few pills, so that I could sleep again and that I wouldn't miss the whole school year but couldn't change another thing in my life. She always told me that she only wanted to help me and the only thing I ever replied was that she couldn't make Niall return.

After I said that, she had a serious talk with my mother and after that talk, my mom cancelled the expensive hours of therapy that didn't help me at all. Only two weeks after I'd returned to school again and took a lot of these pills that the old lady gave me, my mother told me that I was stable enough to live on my own now, because a big factory that had offered her a job in a town a few hours away from here. She told me that she would visit as often as possible, and in the beginning she came back almost every week-end, but after a month or two, she told me that she was tired of driving five hours every week-end and that she wouldn't visit as often anymore. After that, I'd seen her only two times. She calls sometimes or writes me a text or two, but that's it. She'd met a man over in her new hometown and lives now with him and his two kids in a big house. She still pays for all the bills her old house is making, but doesn't really care about my life anymore. 

In a certain way, I miss her. I miss her a lot and as I sat down on the bed and all the memories of her singing lullabies for me while I was crying silently in my pillow. She'd been a great mom and I bet that she'd still be, if she would visit me sometimes. After all of this time, I would've forgot what she looks like, if it weren't for all the photos on every inch of my bedroom wall. It's a lot of pictures of me and her, but now and then you can find some of me and my old friends, back in high-school. Of course we aren't close anymore, but we still share a lot of memories together that I will never forget. But there aren't any pictures of me and Niall anymore. I'd ripped them all off and ripped them in little pieces when he didn't contacted me on my birthday. I don't own a single one anymore that shows me and Niall together and that's kind of sad, because before the day I exploded and ripped them in millions of pieces, I had loads of them. 

Since we were little, we loved to take pictures together. In all these years, I'd accumulated three photo albums and two boxes full of photos with him and me. There were photos of him and me when we'd been swimming together almost every day in the small lake in the woods, not so far away, photos of us smiling on our first day of school, of Niall braiding my hair and of me trying to braid his, of us together in the sandpit on the playground we were yesterday, of both of us crying when Niall broke his arm; he was crying because he was in pain and I was crying because I'd thought he'd die and then there were my favourites: the ones of me and him on Halloween. It were the only ones I kept safe in a box under my bed. There were only eleven, because we only knew each other eleven years before he left, but they were still the best ones. We'd always been disguised with the same motto; when we were seven, he'd been a bee and I was a flower, at the age of ten, he was Romeo and I was Juliet, at eleven he was a wolf and I was a sheep, at fourteen he was a pilot and I was a stewardess and at sixteen, our last Halloween together, he was a little boy and I was his teddy.

My mother used to sew our costumes and she loved doing it for us. In the middle of July she already started with preparing our disguises and, even if I always told her that she didn't need to start so soon, they were always perfect only a few days before the big day. We went out for trick or treat together, even at the age of sixteen, when everybody told us to let the little kids have their fun without us stealing their sweets away.

I don't know how long I'd just been sitting there and thinking of all the times Niall had made me smile or made me happy, but when I finally snapped back into reality, I was full on sobbing and I felt the sudden urge cuddle in my bed again, take a few of these pills that I still had just in case and hear my mother's voice sing a few songs.

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~Catherine x