Mind Of Mine Imagines

BoRdErSz

"you need to tell him, y/n. He'll never know if you don't and he won't be able to help you." My best friend told me. As much as I'd like to, I wish I could bring myself to tell Zayn about everything going on. School is stressing me out as well as not being good enough for my family among other problems.

I apparently don't meet anyone's expectations and I feel like I should at least try to satisfy everyone because that's just who I am.
"I know I should but I haven't found the right time, he's always busy."
I tried my best all the time to prevent anyone from persuading me into doing anything.
"Shut up, y/n. Shut up. You know that's not true. He might not be home twenty four seven but it's because he's working hard for you and for only you. You're on his mind all the time, he's told me! You think he doesn't miss you? That he won't care? Just tell him! Two minutes is all it takes. Two minutes for you to tell him compared to the time you'll enjoy and think about how you grew balls and told him." At this point, her hands were on my shoulders shaking me vigorously to get me to understand.

"You're right." I sighed and played with my ring. I took a deep breath.
"I'll talk to him off of work, okay?"
I smiled a little more confidently and my mind started running wild with so many different scenarios, both good and bad. "Ugh, yes, y/n. Good. If you get nervous or anything, absolutely anything-"
"I know, I'll call you." I cut her off and hid my worry with a smile.
"I'm very proud of you, y/n." She hugged me and gathered her things before leaving me alone to my thoughts.

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For the three hours left before Zayn came home, I rehearsed scenarios one after another. What if he thinks it's stupid? Or if he doesn't believe me.
"Zayn, I need to talk to you."
"Can we talk?"
"I need to tell you something."
None of them sound good enough.
5:43 p.m
He should be home any minute..
Y/n, you can do this. Its not big deal is it? No it isn't. Two minutes. Just two minutes.

The door bell rings and I have no idea how long I've been pacing for.
I rush to the door and grab the metal handle. Not able to open it, my hand shook until finally I used both hands to pry the damn door open.
"Hey baby." He greeted me by hooking his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. I smiled genuinely because for a moment I forgot everything. I know you might think I'm exaggerating but I'm the type that doesn't really like being so open with others. I keep my problems to myself unless it gets worse, in this case it has. "Hi." I managed to speak with a weak smile. It's not that big a deal, okay?
He's understanding, other wise you wouldn't trust him and you wouldn't tell him anything. He deserves to know.
"What's for dinner?" He practically runs to our kitchen and scans the fridge.
"Uh, Zayn. Before you eat, can we -"
His expression switches from happy and hungry to worried and caring.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He cups my face in his warm hand and strokes my cheek with his thumb.
"I just need to talk about something is all." I take his hands in mine causing his to shake slightly along with mine.
"Did I do something wrong? I promise Ill make it up to you. It was that whole not putting my clothes in the hamper right?
I knew I should've put them away - I'll do it now." He started towards the stairs before I pulled him back to me.
He never failed to make me smile even when I'm worried or sad..
"No, Zayn it's something more serious."
"You're not leaving me are you." Tears formed in his eyes as one slipped down his rosy cheeks. His eyebrows were drawn together by sadness and my heart broke at the thought of leaving him, or him leaving me. He knows I'd never do that. "No, Zayn I'm not. I just- I'm just gonna say it." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
"The reason why I've been giving you hell these past few weeks and not on purpose, I promise is because I've just been very worried about everything.
I'm always so busy with my job and so are you. I never make time for you, the most important thing ever in life for me.
You do so much to make me laugh and just happy in general. I never return the favor. My family's expectations have been raised so much. You know how they see things. I'm trying as hard as I can. I might not have the most highest paying job ever but they don't appreciate it. I don't see my brothers and sisters giving them everything like I do. Love, care, housing, food. I do it all for them, not even for me and I never get a thank you or even a smile. I'm busting my ass for people who don't care other than my parents but I can never say no. I just needed to tell you because we're a couple. You deserve to know everything that's happening. And that's it. I know it's the stupidest of problems but there they are. Im sorry for not being there for you. I'm sorry for being a crappy girlfriend. For not giving you enough or loving you as much as I should. Out of all people you chose me and Im not treating you right."

After my ramble, I looked at my hands not being able to look at him. I don't want to see his reaction or at least i didn't because now I'm looking at him.
His face is covered by his hands.
His shoulders shaking.
I let out a harsh breath in relief.

"Y/n." He mumbled into his fingers.
"Why didn't you tell me this before? I could've helped you. You know that you have all my support and love. You do enough for me. When a single tear falls from your eyes it's like someone dropped a building on me. I can't stand to see you like this. A single look at you is enough to make me smile, you make me so happy you have no idea. Why would I love you the way I do if I didn't like your personality or your appearance? I don't need you to have a big whatever or a small tiny waist. You're perfect to me because I love you so much. I've come to know your heart and its so beautiful. Your personality is the brightest, most amazing one out there. You're perfect, y/n please don't change for me or anyone because you don't need to spend your life comparing yourself to other people because that isn't you. You are y/n and I love that about you. All of you."

My breathing got harder at every word. Who knew he'd react this way. Why do I need to change. I don't. I should've just asked him or talked to him like a normal person would. What do I tell him? He's already told me everything I've wanted him to and more. Hes giving me so much.

"I love you." I threw myself onto him and our bodies felt to the ground together. I sobbed in his arms. How crazy can I be? My tears quickly turned into chuckles and Zayn joined me. "What's so funny?" He giggled, his laugh music to my ears.
"Me. This. Us." I calmed down and looked at him straight in his beautiful, caramel covered eyes.
"It is a little silly, huh?" He smiled down at me and sighed deeply.
"What's on your mind?" My somewhat happy mood is flipped into a bit of concern. I smile reassuringly and take his hand in mine, squeezing gently. "I just love you so much, sometimes my brain doesn't believe it and my heart can't take it."
My smile grows wider just before I bring his pink lips down to mine.

"I love you, handsome"

"I love you, princess"

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-JACKIEEE