Yellow (Vocaloid Fanfic)

Smile

Things got awkward. I mean, really awkward. Weeks passed and not a word was said between us. Not even a hello or good bye. She hadn’t even glanced my direction once over the course of the time; she was avoiding me at every turn. As if her life depended on it.

According to her brother, Rin had literally gone home, packed her bags, and ran away. Apparently she’s “temporarily” living with her friend, Megpoid Gumi. She didn’t tell her brother goodbye, she didn’t even inform him of where she was disappearing to. Yet again, she didn’t tell me either.

I wonder if she realized how worried I was.

I sighed, rubbing my temples in circles with my fingers while slumping over in a desk. My eyes wondered around the room, noticing that once again, that blonde skipped class. She never dared to be in a fifty-foot radius of me. She was scared of me and I hated it. I wanted nothing more than to see that smile on her face again, to see her eyes light up when I tell her good news, to see….

The door slid open with a bang, causing heads to turn. Our Sensei stopped writing on the board to look over, releasing a sigh, “you finally decided to show up to class, huh? Well, don’t just stand there, take your seat.”

My eyes followed her, unable to resist the temptation of looking at her. Her hair was a wreck and her eyes were puffy as if she’d spend the afternoon crying. The white bow in her hair that she usually wears was missing and the snow colored pins holding her bangs in place were lop-sided. She wore and oversized sweater that reached right above her knees. At first glance, you would probably think she had been in a messy break up or something.

Rin walked past me, sitting down in her chair, her icy eyes stuck to the surface of the desk. She didn’t bother to look at me, she just ignored the world. She neglected the teacher in front and her lecture. It was as if she was frozen in time, stuck in a fast paced world as she moved in slow motion.

Before I knew it the bell rung, causing students to frantically stand up, push in their chairs, and dash out the door. Soon it was just the two of us in an empty classroom. The suspense was over whelming, pushing me to stand up and make my way over to the distraught girl. I then stood there, hands locked in front of me nervously, staring at my feet.

“Rin….?”

No response.

I bite down on my lip, trying to find the words to express what I wanted to say, “Rin, look…” I paused, glancing up at her for a quick second, but it was like she was oblivious to the fact that I even stood there besides her. “I’m sorry… But I’m not taking back what I said. I don’t regret it. I never will. I will never regret falling in love with you. Do you hear me?” I placed my hands on Rin’s shoulders, forcing her to turn my direction, put her eyes were still glued on what was beneath her. “Rin, look at me! Look at me! Please-“

Why won’t she respond?

Tears began to swell up in the corners of my eyes, forcing themselves down the side of my face, “please… Rin…” I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve, “why won’t you just give me a chance…?”

I stormed out of the classroom hesitantly, looking back over my shoulder at the emotionless girl before slamming the door shut. My stuff was left on my desk, but I couldn’t go back and get it. I couldn’t go back and face that blank face; the one that appeared like all emotions had been sucked out of it. I just couldn’t do anything.

I sighed, looking back over my shoulder once more, hoping that she would chase after me. Hoping that she’d say she was sorry, that she returned my feelings; that she would give me just a chance. A chance was all I wanted. Maybe… Maybe if she just tried to accept my feeling, if she tried to give us a chance, maybe she would enjoy herself.

But it’s wrong, isn’t it? They always say that it’s wrong. But it’s not more right than her and her twin brother being together, is it?

At that second the same classroom door opened, a short girl stepping out from the shadows, her hands trembling at her sides. She opened her mouth, staring past me as tears ran down her rosy cheeks, “Neru, wait!” She paused, as if waiting for me to respond, but a silence of shock grew over me as she continued, “I… I… I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose you. You... You’re my best friend. And… And I never thought of you in… In that way before. I was shocked and confused and I thought if I just acted like nothing happened- if I just kept my distance- everything would go back to normal. But… But it didn’t… It’ll never go back to the way it was. I have to face my fears and regrets- my friends- and my emotions…Yet I can’t… I can’t because I don’t want to get hurt… I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Rin, it’s okay I-“

“It’s not okay! I hurt you! And I swore to protect you!” Her knees shook as she lost balance, falling to the ground, her hands wiping the tears off of her cheeks. “What sort of a person am I…? Breaking such important promises… Hurting people… I don’t deserve to be here-“

“Rin! Listen to me!” My feet starting moving without my command, racing towards the girl and stopping before her. I collapsed in front of her, my hands reaching for shoulders, but instead cupping her cheeks. She stared at me, no words escaping her throat, only eyes that pleaded forgiveness. “You don’t have to apologize for anything… I understand, okay? So please… Cheer up. I can’t stand to see you crying… Smile.”

Smile. Smile like you used to when Len would come home every day, when you talked about the meaning of love. Smile the way he made you grin, please, smile like that for me.

“If… If it’s for you…” Rin started, wiping her eyes once more, “if it’s for you, then I’ll smile.”

And with that the corners of her mouth curved into a mellow smile, leaving me with the only option to smile back.