Phan Oneshot Series

While You Were Sleeping

Of course. Of course today had to be the day that I completely fuck up, as if God hasn't punished me enough for the last 24 years of my life. All I wanted was to do something nice for my boyfriend for his birthday, and now I'm in god damn Tesco prison.

I was so careful this morning, tip-toeing as quiet as I possibly could out of the bedroom, away from a sleeping Phil. It was nearly seven in the morning, and I had everything planned out.

I was going to make breakfast for the two of us, and we would watch one of Phil's favourite anime's while we ate. After that, I was going to take Phil to a Game of Thrones convention that was in London for the weekend. Later in the evening, a bunch of friends had planned a surprise party at PJ's place. It was going to be the best birthday ever.

When I say that I planned everything out, I mean that I didn't leave out a single detail. Before sneaking out of the bedroom, I grabbed Phil's phone so his alarm or a phone call wouldn't wake him up. I was almost tempted to take the batteries out of the smoke alarm, but ultimately decided against it. Waking up to a house fire wouldn't exactly be the best birthday present.

Except, maybe I should have taken out he batteries, because when the toaster started smoking, I knew there would be problems.

"Fuck! Shit!" I cursed before clasping a hand over my mouth, taking yet another piece of burnt bread out of the toaster with a fork, ignoring any and all warnings I remembered from grade-school about 'not sticking metal in the toaster.'

A sigh of annoyance escaping my lips, I plopped another two pieces of bread into the toaster. I almost forgot about the pancakes that were being cooked, or rather scorched, on the stove. I hurried over to flip the pancakes, hoping that I didn't get there to late. Except, when I flipped it, expecting a golden brown cake, I was greeted with a surface as black as the pan.

"God fucking dammit." I half whispered, trying to keep my voice to a minimal. I picked up the pancakes with the spatula and tossed them in the bin, too burnt to eat.
"Alright, pancakes are out. Scrambled eggs maybe?" I asked myself, my habit of talking to absolutely no one still continuing.

I opened the fridge quietly, trying to minimize how much it creaks.
"You've gotta be kidding me," I whispered to myself again when I saw the carton with one egg left in it.
"I'm gonna-" When I breathed in smoke filled my lungs until that's all I could smell. I whipped my head around, my eyes landing on the toaster, smoking.

"What the shit?!" I panicked, running up to the toaster and unplugging it from the socket.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" I grabbed an oven mitt off the counter and waved it furiously around in the air, tensing as the smoke neared the alarm on the ceiling.

My bottom lip was nearly bleeding I was holding my top teeth on it so tight. My entire body was shaking, worried that the alarm would start blaring and ruin all my plans. I stayed in the same position for over ten minutes just swatting at the air and trying to keep the smoke from traveling close enough to the alarm to ruin the perfect day.

The smoke subtly died down as I opened the window a crack, trying to air out the room. Thankfully the smoke hadn't traveled towards the bedroom yet, this was probably the only time I was grateful for the kitchen door.

By the time my heart attack was over and I was sure the smoke alarm wouldn't go off, it was only about 8:30. "Okay so I'll just run to the store real quick get some eggs and bread and-" I mumbled to myself as I scribbled down a small list of what I needed. I left a note for Phil as well just in case he had woken up while I was gone.