Don't Call Me Baby

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Lola Learns to Shop

Saturday morning breakfast; toast, banana, and just for the hell of it I didn't wear my pink bunny slippers. I regretted this as it was winter and my feet soon became frozen enough for me to trot back to my bedroom and put them on. It was 8:30am and normally I would still be asleep on a Saturday morning, but I wanted to have a shower and then select carefully what I would wear on this shopping trip with Julian.

After my shower I opened the doors of my small wardrobe and suddenly realised how meager my collection of clothes actually was. I was listening to some old reggae classics and it reminded me of Marley. I wondered where he was and how he could not at least be curious about Emm and his kid. Let alone the fact that mum was totally devastated when he disappeared. These thoughts distracted me from the job in hand so in despair I threw caution to the wind and pulled on my favourite pair of jeans and a white T-shirt under a black bolero style cardigan. If I was honest I really didn't have much choice anyway other than age of jeans and style of T-shirt. I brushed my hair and tried in vain to contain it all in a scrunchie. Finally I gave up and put on a black velvet alice band instead, hoping it would do the job of keeping the ringlets out of my eyes.

Next I thought about makeup. Did I have any? Of course I did. Somewhere in a drawer there was some mascara and some pink eye shadow that Emm had given me. Yup, there it was hiding under some old socks that had lost their partners years ago, but that I had never quite got around to throwing away. Actually I had learnt some years ago the art of only buying black socks so if I lost one I could pair it up with another odd sock and of course there was the added advantage of black socks not getting discoloured in the wash. I was nothing if not frugal although, unfortunately, not by choice. The mascara had gone all clogged up so I discarded it and stuck with the eye shadow. I wiped some on my eyes and looked in the mirror. Not that bad, I thought, although I wasn't quite convinced that pale pink was my colour. A roll of lip gloss and I was ready.

I grabbed my tatty leather jacket from the hook; grabbed the messenger bag with Chairman Mao's face stamped in red on the flap that served as my handbag; door keys and left a note for mum telling her I'd gone out. I didn't tell her about the shopping trip. I didn't want her getting bossy, I could hear her now "I've told you a million times to stop dressing like a mechanic", which is strange because I swear I was dressing like a student, and being compared to Emm who was super girly in her clothes and managed to achieve that despite having no money.

Emm just thought it weird that someone so in love with art could be so disinterested in fashion she thought they went hand in hand. She was always telling me how beautiful I was if only I could look in the mirror and stop seeing that flat chested, skinny kid with braces looking back at me and see myself for the woman I'd become. Yeah, yeah I would say, because you're hardly gonna tell you best friend that she's ugly, and change the subject.

The truth was I did like nice clothes and colour, but I was poor and practical. If I pretended that clothes didn't matter then it wouldn't hurt so much that my mum was a single parent on benefits and I didn't have a job where I could splash out on stuff. Every spare penny I had went into my Lola's new home fund and there wasn't much of that by the time I gave my mum money.

I had to admit I was excited at the thought of new clothes. I secretly vowed to be on my best behaviour with Julian and to do as I was told. I could do humble, passive, and obedient, couldn't I? I had read the files last night, and on the way to meeting Julian I reviewed what I had learned in case Julian interrogated me, which was highly likely.

Pam Henderson was 28 years old. She came from Harlow in Essex. Her dad (deceased) was a builder and her mother a professional housewife. Her dad had been successful and Pam apparently lacked for nothing as an only child. She was currently single and preferred to befriend men rather than women.