Don't Call Me Baby

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Love Letters Straight from the Heart

Julian turned on the lights and I could see Derek's bedroom was huge. Julian had removed his tie and unbuttoned the top of his shirt. He looked so handsome and so, vulnerable, after confessing those childhood memories to me. I felt that he was beginning to trust me. He sat on the huge double bed. "I've looked everywhere in this room Lola. Looking for any clue," he waved his arm around the room hopelessly. I reeled off a number of places and he confirmed he had already looked. Nothing. Not a single item that might belong to a woman. No correspondence that might hint at any relationship romantic or otherwise. We started searching all over again and it felt strange going through someone's possessions. Someone I had never met and that was now dead.

After an hour and a half of searching it was getting late. I flopped down despondently on the bed and lay back staring up at the ceiling. Julian sat down next to me. "Nothing, there is nothing here," he said dejectedly.

"When I was a kid," I said, "I had this crush on a boy at school." Julian looked down curiously at me as I looked up at him. "I was really little, like ten or younger. My brother used to tease me about it because he found a love letter I had written to this boy and never sent. Actually I wrote him several love letters." I propped myself up on my elbows as I remembered Marley's teasing. "He was brutal to me."

"The boy?"

"No silly, my brother. He read the letter out aloud to Emm and they laughed at me. I was so humiliated." I blushed remembering the embarrassment.

Anyway," I continued, "I still wrote the letters. About ten of them in all, but I obviously needed to hide them from my brother." I pushed myself off the bed and started to walk towards the walk-in dressing room. Julian followed me. "Well, the trick is, where was there a good hiding place, right?" I walked into the room and Julian flicked on the light switch behind me. There was row upon row of clothes. "Now," I turned around to Julian, "the best hiding places are the ones in plain sight. Ones that are there staring you in the face." I could tell I had Julian hooked.

"Where, Lola, where did you put them?" he eagerly asked me.

"I hid them in the pocket of my winter coat, under some dirty tissues." We both turned to the racks of clothing and quickly started to check all the pockets.

"Yes!" I jumped up and down in excitement as I held some letters up in the air. Julian grabbed them and scanned them.

"These are love letters!" he exclaimed. "From Pam!" He suddenly grabbed me to him in a big hug.

"Lola, you wonderful woman!" He was beaming down at me and I was enjoying being held in his arms. His sparkling green eyes looked into mine and that's when he kissed me. A full on, lip on lip, tongue in mouth kiss. Our eyes wide open, green on green. I was melting, turning rapidly into quivering jelly in his arms, when he released me suddenly.

"I'm sorry," he exclaimed quickly, "I shouldn't have done that," he turned away in embarrassment clutching the letters. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I put my hand gently on his shoulder, "It's ok," I reassured him, "we just got carried away. It was an in-the-moment thing," I told him.

"An in-the-moment-thing?" he turned around to face me again.

"Yeah, you know, one of those spontaneous, seems-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time moments," I smiled up at him, but he didn't smile back.

"I knew what you meant Lola. I don't have those moments, I'm not a compulsive man." What was he trying to say? That he planned to kiss me? Why can't this man just admit that he does have a compulsive side to his character?