Faith Like A Mustard Seed

Friend

Back at the old bridge that I called home, Buck and I chatted amongst ourselves.

"Don't you just love this time of year," I asked Buck.

"Woof," Buck answered, or at least that's the only thing I could get out of him.

Sometimes I wished Buck could've talked... Okay a lot of the time. I just needed a friend. Someone I could've talked to, someone that would've listened. I felt so lonely. Besides having Buck there, of course. He stuck closer than a brother. I loved him with all of my heart.

As Buck and I sat under that bridge, I began to realize just how much he meant to me. He was my family. I had no one else but him. I listened to conversation take place overhead and I listened to happy couples laughing over silly jokes and stories. I sat there and wished I had stories of my own. I wanted so badly for someone to want and need me. I'm sure that if I would've died right then and there, no one would've noticed. Or cared for that matter. Not even my dad or brother would've cared what happened to me. I didn't even know where they were or what they were doing. I didn't care. All I knew was Buck was my one loyal companion and he was the one who needed me.

I was so broken inside. It was like my heart was nothing but a shattered piece of glass that could never be fixed. It was so hard to feel anything but pain all the time. Nothing could make me happy. God was out of my life, so I was broken and torn all the time. I had no sense of happiness left in me. I was a wretched man, who didn't look any better than his attitude was. The only thing I cared about was Buck. My one and only friend.

I grabbed Buck around his neck and held him tight. I never wanted to let go. He was my comfort. I didn't know what I'd do without him. He completed me, it was like he was the other half of my heart. We belonged together. If we ever got separated, I think I might've died.

I felt Buck's nose snuggle up next to my neck. His nose was wet and cold, but I loved him and I loved knowing he was there with me. He had been there through everything. He was there for the hardest time in my life. The past four years had been the worst and that's when he was there for me the most. He never left me and he never judged me like every single person that saw me on the streets.

As I held onto Buck, I felt tears begin to form in my eyes. That afternoon, was the most emotional that I've been in a very long time. I always felt that Buck brought out the best in me. He understood the pain I felt. It was like we shared the same feelings at times. I knew when he was upset and he knew when I was upset. Buck was always there for me and he never did anything to harm me. In fact, he kept me out of harm's way.

I got up and started walking down the streets with Buck at my side. I looked down at him and smiled and it was as if he was smiling right back saying, "I'm here forever and always". I rubbed his head and looked up and- BAM! I stumbled back and looked up. "I am so-" "Watch where you're going you dirty hobo!!" I felt the sting of each word pierce into my heart. As I continued to study the face, it became clearer and clearer. Dad. I looked at him and tried to smile. Although I kept saying how much I hated him, my heart raced as I looked him up and down. He looked back at me and started to scowl.

"I said... WATCH where you're GOING!" As I stood there dumbfounded, Dad kept looking me over- he didn't even recognize me. But then again, why would he remember me? The mistake. The thing that should never have existed.

As I tried to hold my emotions inside, I couldn't help but showing the one I did best. Anger. "Hey buddy! I don't know who you think you're talking to, but you better watch your mouth!" My father was taken abac, but soon returned to his state of anger. "I know exactly who I'm talking to, and you don't deserve to live on the streets you're walking on!" I was hurt. I could feel my eyes start to burn, but I couldn't let my father see. It would only fuel the rage he was showing. He was drunk, I could smell it on his breath and as much as I wanted to fight back, I knew I shouldn't get in his way anymore than I already had. Dad was scary when he was drunk; I'd seen it enough at home. Buck heard the commotion and came over to where I was standing. He started barking and growing at my father. He had never seen Dad before; it was a sure good thing too. Buck lunged toward my father and Dad backed up quickly. "Keep your mutt in line, ol' tramp!" "I'll try," I said. I only said this to get him off my back. Dad stumbled off in an angry manner. I bent down next to Buck. "I love ya, boy! You're such a good dog and friend! I couldn't ask for anyone or anything better." "Woof!"

Buck and I continued on our way down the street.