The Bad Boy's Girl (Now Available as a Paperback and ebook)

Bonus Part: Cole's POV Chapter 41

Hey all! This is the second and final bonus part :) To everyone who's confused, I wrote these two bonus parts as part of an experiment with Wattpad. Both bonus parts were on sale for a limited period and then removed. If you go back and try to read them where they're originally placed you'll see that they're blocked. I've added them here for free so that anyone who couldn't read them before now can. Enjoy!

Bonus Part: Cole's POV Chapter 41

The thing about never feeling like you deserve the person you're in love with is that it's a constant. The doubt never goes away even if you're screaming at it to just leave you the fuck alone. Over time it's something I've embraced, every moment I'm near my girl that voice in my head accompanies me.

Then just over two months ago, my worst fears came true. I did what I'd always terrified of doing. I failed her, I failed Tessie and nearly lost her for good. What happened the night that Erica showed up will always be a blur and it's kind of messed up. I've been beating myself over it since the moment it happened but if I see her, if I get the opportunity to find out if I'd really screwed myself over for a girl I felt nothing for I could clear my conscience and let this self doubt go.

This very self doubt is what's clawing at me and making me want to run. A part, a big part of me wants to give the world the proverbial middle finger and haul Tessie to my chest, never letting her go. The other part, the part which thought Mr. O'Connell was right, the one which is always ready to accept that I'm too big of an asshole to ever deserve his daughter is ready to run. I may have fought for her that day, I may have told him that my love for Tessie went far deeper than he could ever imagine but now, that bastard of a voice in my head is making me question everything.

The past few days, it's been obvious that I wasn't being myself and that I'd been staying away from my girl. It takes a lot of resolve to do that, to not spend every second touching the girl that rocks my world even when I'm just thinking about her but some things needed to be sorted out. And now as I wait for her to come back from her shopping trip with the girl, I know she's not going to be pleased with my decision.

My bags are packed and the rental car should be here soon. I feel about as good as the morning after and it takes every ounce of strength I have to fight the urge to stay. No, I don't think what Tessie and I have is unhealthy, that's just bullshit adults feel the need to constantly throw at us. But the self destructive. chaotic mess I was as a kid is still a part of who I am. And despite getting the girl, keeping the girl seems to be a whole other issue. I don't want to believe anyone who tells me I don't belong with Tessa, I want to fight them with all that I am but I can't fight myself.

A part of me will always hate myself for the pain I've caused Tessa, there will always be that urge to punish myself for breaking her when she'd already been broken too many times. I was supposed to love her, to protect her, to heal her but I went ahead and did what a number on her, cut her so deep that the scars are still visible today.

It's these kinds of thoughts that I'm trying to escape before they poison our entire relationship. If I don't leave, all the self doubts will start to show up. Maybe Tessa's dad is on to something, maybe if I leave I'll get rid of the all consuming guilt and this feeling that I don't deserve the girl I love.

The last train of thought reminds of why I'm in this situation in the first place. I'm reminded of what started this train wreck and Drew fucking McQueen's smug face appears in my mind. I mentally stab him a couple of times and curse myself both for not finishing him off when I could but also for losing control the way I did.

I wanted to kill him.

I nearly did.

But I shouldn't have, at least not with witnesses around. But the bastard deserved it every time my fist made contact with his pretty boy face. He knew what to say in order to get a reaction out of me and he went straight for the proverbial jugular.