The Bad Boy's Girl (Now Available as a Paperback and ebook)

Chapter Thirty Two: I've Started Developing A Cannibalistic Hatred For Redheads

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Chapter Thirty Two: I've Started Developing A Cannibalistic Hatred For Redheads

Here's the thing about time: it doesn't give a shit about you. It doesn't care whether you've been shattered and broken beyond repair. It doesn't care that you're grieving for a loss so immense that your heart literally aches every time you breathe. Nope, time doesn't care. It keeps on moving, never just staying still. You might want it to remain unmoving, everlasting but that doesn't work out does it? Time doesn't care that you aren't ready to move on. It doesn't care that you don't want to pick yourself up to do things just because the hour requires it.

It doesn't care that you're in so much pain that your body's become numb. All it does is keep on ticking and asking you to move along with it.

So I do.

Eventually, that is.

One Week Later

The bed and I have become really good friends this past week. We've never left each other's side, if you're curious. This is the week where we were all going to go on a road trip. Megan, Alex, Beth, Travis, me and...him.

Now I've destroyed it for them.

I told everyone to go without me. That I just needed some time to get my head sorted. I wanted them to believe that I was okay but then, these people are the ones who actually care. Everyone saw right through me and they cancelled the trip. What's worse is that Megan and Alex end up fighting over me. That's the tricky bit about dating within your group of friends. When breakups happen, loyalties come into question and people get put in spots they don't want to.

The word breakup teeters across my consciousness but I push it aside, as always. The tears that come usually by this point are threatening to make an appearance again and I am sick of crying. This is not the person I want to be. I don't want to be the girl who hasn't gotten out of bed in a week. I don't want to be the one who pushes away everyone who cares for her. I don't want to cause my friends to ruin their relationships. I don't want to hurt this bad over a guy.

But I am exactly that girl.

When he came back into my life, I promised myself that I wouldn't let a guy become my whole world again. The decision was more so about Jay than him. I never questioned the strong hold he had over my emotions. I didn't think he would crush them the way he did. So I fell and I fell so damn hard. But he's gone now and I'm still that stupid girl who feels too much.

Pulling the quilt over my head, I squeeze my eyes shut and pray for some sleep. When I'm asleep, nothing bad happens but then as soon as I wake up the pain is there and it's stronger than ever.

Two Weeks Later

I'm told he comes to see me every day. Every day they send him back. Beth says the first day Travis gave him a black eye and things could have gotten a lot worse if she hadn't stopped my brother. She also tells me that he didn't fight back at all, that he just stood there and let Travis do whatever damage he pleased. That causes a pinprick like feeling to get through to my heart. The numbness is still dominating every other sensation but that particular image in my head, causes me to feel something. I push it away immediately. I don't care.

What Beth doesn't know is that I see him leaving every single day. He slams the door like he wants me to know that he's going away. That's when I make the effort to leave my bed and take a peek from my window. Every day he stands on the same spot for approximately ten seconds before walking away. Once, in the very beginning I saw him fall to his knees as his body shook with silent sobs. That almost, almost broke my resolve but then I remembered the pain. The pain he caused and how he could cause it again.