heartache hospital | kellic | ✓

one

More tape is essential to planets, but I didn't realize that until a planet hit my face.

"Mars is a horrible planet, how could you even like space?" I groaned as I rubbed my nose. I was hanging planet ornaments all over Kellin's hospital room when Mars fell on my face. I picked up the ornament and threw it at Kellin. I tried to make sure it wasn't enough to hurt him, but enough to capture his attention.

"Vic, you're so mean. Why are you even doing this?" Kellin giggled as he grabbed Mars and rolled it around in his hand. He smiled gently at the planet before placing it down next to his leg. I sighed and walked over to him and sat down on the opposite side. I rubbed his blanket covered leg soothingly.

"Well...I'm scared I'm going to lose you. I'm scared I'll lose you soon. I want to make you happy. The stars awake, but we can't see them out so why pretend? I'm tired of telling you to close your eyes and imagine it. I'm making it a reality so now you actually can see the stars." I gently pushed him further away from the edge so I can squeeze into the bed with him.

Kellin looked around happily, but as he looked up at the glow in the dark stars, the light behind his eyes faded. We sat there, quietly as I waited for him to say something. I've been in love with him for such a long time, I knew when something was wrong or bugging him. Despite knowing that, he still surprises me.

"It's pointless, take it down." Kellin looked away from me, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. The heart monitor started beeping quickly and I panicked slightly. Kellin's breathing became more frantic as he tried to get away from my grasp. "Take it down, I don't want it here!" Kellin cried as he curled into a ball. He no longer saw hope in this, he no longer saw hope in his life and recovering.

"I'm going to die in a bit so this won't matter." he whimpered. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't take the decorations down. They're important to me, and I needed as many happy memories as I can with him before he goes. Everyone knew Kellin's life was coming to an end, we just left it unsaid. He was gonna leave this world, but it'd be without me. That hurt more then ever, I relied on him too much. I figured that without Kellin, there is no me.

I didn't know what to do, but the only legitimate option was to hug him, I knew he needed the comfort. I took back my rightful position as the person who held him through everything. His sobs shook his body and made the heart monitors beep rapidly. Doctor Barham ran in, his worried eyes flashed with realization as he realized Kellin was okay, he just wasn't emotionally okay.

Doctor Barham walked over to Kellin and placed a hand on Kellin's back soothingly,

"What's on your mind?" Doctor Barham asked with genuine concern, he wasn't just asking because Kellin was his patient, he tried too many times to help Kellin, even if he was a lost cause. All the other doctors said they can't help him, but Doctor Barham stayed with us through all of it. Kellin left my arms as he turned to face Doctor Barham.

"Why the fuck am I falling apart?" Kellin mumbled. Doctor Barham and I didn't dare say why, the answer was evident, Kellin just wanted an explanation.

We all knew he was dying, it just hurt too much to say the words.

Whatever is happening with Kellin was normal. His body was no longer supporting him, he was hooked to machines and on insane amounts of pain killers. He was barely a human at this point, he was a dying human relying on machines to keep him alive. Doctor Barham told us Kellin won't be alive much longer, but I figured that out on my own.

Doctor Barham sighed, "Kellin... I'm sorry, we're trying to figure it out. We're getting nothing, it's almost like your body doesn't want to be saved."

Kellin nodded and turned back to me, "I'm scared."

Doctor Barham frowned, he turned around to leave, "I love how the room looks, better than the boring walls." With that, he walked out the door. He couldn't do much, it was just Kellin crying, something I'd have to deal with, it's something I understood.

I pulled Kellin closer to me and I held him tightly.

"I didn't mean it when I said to take it down, I actually really love it, but I still love you more." Kellin whispered.

"I love you too, Kellin." I whispered back. I held him longer until he had relaxed. I slipped off the bed and went back to my decorations.

I grabbed the bag with glow in the dark stars, planet stickers, planet ornaments, and a night light. The night light was almost like a projector in a way, and it projected space.

"Sing to me?" Kellin's small voice rang, and I obliged. I nodded my head and began to sing along, "As we wake up in your room, your face is the first thing I see.."

Kellin hummed along as I placed the decorations around. Mars was still my least favorite planet, but at the moment, I could care less.

The way Kellin looked at space was a look I'd miss, a look I never want to forget. I didn't want to forget anything about Kellin.

a.n i hope you like it :') kinda really excited for this. i know it's short but it's not supposed to be a long story. sorry for any mistakes ill edit later

[slightly edited 6 December]