heartache hospital | kellic | ✓

two

I held Kellin in my arms, I had no idea why he was crying, but it scared me. Every time he was like this, I'd let him cry, and then I'd have him talk about what's hurting him. Today was different though, he didn't tell me why, he refused to.

"Vic," he sobbed. "I love you so incredibly much. I'm sorry." I was clueless, I didn't know what to do, I just held him close. I ran my fingers through his hair, I rubbed his cheek with the thumb to my free hand, and I sang to him a little. I tried everything that soothed him.

It took a while, but his crying stopped and his breathing slowed a little.

He looked up to me and whispered, "I won't be here in a year." I didn't understand what he meant, but it didn't matter right now.

He brought his hand up and pulled my head down to his.

Our foreheads touched and he kept whispering, "I love you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault."

Kellin smiled at me, but his smiled suggested more. He moved his body to a more comfortable position and then pulled me closer to him. I straddled him and he brought his lips to mine.

It was an intimate night, just like many others before and after, but this one was different. He held onto me like at any moment I'd be take. away.

His words, "I won't be here in a year." had a much deeper meaning, and I now realize why. He knew his body was failing, but he said nothing.

I watched him carefully as he slept, I counted his heartbeats to make sure his body didn't shut down on me. It may seem creepy, but I needed to make sure he wouldn't quit on me.

I listened to his breathing to see if would stop or become irregular. Everything seemed calm tonight, so all I did was hope he'd live another night.

I haven't been sleeping well, I haven't slept for days.

Kellin's world was dim and dark because of how this situation left him feeling. It's not my place to say I'm better because my world is brighter, but compared to Kellins, my world is the sun. It's so much brighter compared to Kellin's, but with the brightness, it hurt more. I can't sleep with all this sunlight.

Even if I did sleep, it was very little to no sleep. I had to make sure Kellin was okay. I worried about his health more.

After a few more heart beats, I stood up and walked around the hospital room. The glow in the dark stars were dim since they haven't been exposed to light in a few hours, but the night light projected just as bright as it needed to be.

I looked at the stars projected from the nightlight and I wondered how Kellin could love this so much. It was a pretty sight, but thinking about it too much made my head hurt.

Let me have a moment of cheesiness and say, the infinite stars were equivalent to how much I love Kellin, I'd hate to live in a world without him.

I got bored after a while and eventually I missed Kellin's warmth. Carefully, I moved him over so I can sleep beside him. I got comfortable in a position where I can hear his breathing and heartbeats, but a ball was poking my back, and it wasn't one of Kellin's.

I nearly cried out of frustration when I realized it was planet that was bothering me. It was the stupid planet that Kellin kept asking to keep next him. I didn't bother paying attention to what planet it was, but if it was Mars, I swear I'm throwing this out the window.

I looked around the planet until I found the words "PLUTO" written on it.

"Stupid Pluto, you aren't a planet anymore, so suck it." I threw Pluto to the ground. I must be going insane because I just called out a planet.

I know Kellin would get mad at me for throwing his "precious baby planet" to the floor.

I sighed, "I'm the only precious thing Kellin should call baby."

"Calling out planets and being jealous over plants since five minutes ago, aren't you a catch, Vic?" Kellins soft morning voice scared me. He caught me off guard, I didn't even realize he was awake.

"Your dumbass woke me up when you pushed me over so you can lay down with me, I just didn't say anything because I thought I'd fall back asleep but you're too loud." Kellin laughed a little.

"Shut up," I kissed his cheek. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry for waking you up."

He fell asleep, but he was pressed against my body. Lately, Kellin has been talking in his sleep, but that's only when he's tired or stressed. His breathing always picks up when he talks.

When he talks in his sleep, I'll be there to slow his breath. He'll be around for a long time, he has to.

(a.n. TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY THIS IS IMPORTANT I AM PROUD. OH AND MORE HEARTACHE LATER ;) ENJOY)