Life after samcro

3

"I was texting Gemma this morning" my mom said as I poured coffee into my cup

"What did she say?" I asked as I turned to see my mom leaning on the counter top

"She saw your interview yesterday. It was the first time you mentioned Jax and you, we both agreed that maybe you don't mention it?" My mom said and she was looking everywhere but me

"How can I not talk about it when most of the book is based on us" I laughed

"Because Jax hasn't moved on honey. He's still in love with you, he saw the interview yesterday and yeah he was happy you didn't say anything bad about him or any of the bad things but you've gave him hope at thinking maybe you can get back together" my mom said as I made my way towards my bedroom

"Well sadly I've got a live stream with someone and its to do with my ex husband and I, and why I used us two as inspiration for the book. What's done is done, people know, I can't change that" I said as I opened my closet to find something suitable to wear, little did my mom know that I'm still in love with him

"Why aren't you taking his feelings into consideration?" And I could tell my mom was getting slightly annoyed but what she just said pissed me off

"His feelings, you've got to be joking. You want me to care about how he feels when he couldn't give a flying fuck about me. He didn't care when he was banging Brianna for a full 7 months before our marriage ended, he didn't care that my dad killed himself, he didn't care that I lost my two best friends because of one of his fucked up plans and he didn't really care that I was so destroyed that we lost a child before we even met him. Don't you dare ever ask me again to take his feelings into consideration when he has never cared once about mine" I shouted and I was so thankful junior was at school

"I'm sorry, I'm in the wrong" my mom said putting her hands up in defence

"Yes you are, now I've got to get ready" and with that she left me alone

I mean yeah I care about Jax, I'm always going to, he was my soul mate but that doesn't mean we are meant to be together. He tore my life apart without realising it. We were so good after clay passed. For the next 5 months everything was great, samcro was fine, no drama, everyone was happy then I lost the baby due to complications, then Jax started coming home late, he started acting weird, less affection, he didn't sleep in the same room as me, he didn't even really look at me anymore. He didn't really pay attention to Junior, he didn't care that Michael was doing so well in college. Then the death of my father came and still nothing, he didn't even batter an eye lid when I told him, he didn't comfort me when I was hurting so bad, he didn't even help with the funeral or anything. Two months later he came up with this stupid plan, which I knew wouldn't work, I told him countless times but he didn't listen and this stupid plan caused the death of Willow and Opie. Two people who I grew up with, two of my closest friends, he basically killed. That's when I drew the straw, when he didn't even care his friends were dead. I knew something was up, then i saw them, I seen Brianna and Jax, meeting at the motel just outside Charming, I was going to visit my mom when I saw his bike outside the motel so I stopped the car to see Brianna walk out one of the rooms and I knew straight away she had just had sex with someone then two seconds later Jax walked out behind her. I can remember it so clear.

*flashback*

I hated the winter, especially when I had to drive an hour to see my mom. The radio was terrible and I had no one to talk to since I was driving alone. I was driving when I saw Jax's bike outside a motel. I was confused at first because he was supposed to be at a meeting with the Mayans. I pulled into the motel and stopped the car when I saw one of the room doors open and my stomach turned, Brianna, walking out looking like she had just had sex. I prayed that what I knew was coming, wouldn't come. I wished he wouldn't be here. Then he walked out, zipping his pants. I was so shocked, so hurt and I don't even know. Every emotion was running through my body, I wanted to scream, cry but I knew I wanted to smash her head into the ground.

"You stupid skanky little slut" I screamed as I opened the car door, not even bothering to close it "I should have known you couldn't keep your legs closed you little dirty whore" I screamed as I basically ran to Brianna

"What?" She laughed

"You can't keep yourself away, always going back. Your a vile little bitch, what do you get from ruining a marriage" I laughed

"Ask your husband" she smirked and before I could comprehend what I was doing my fist was hitting her face as hard and as fast as I could

I kept hitting and hitting and I didn't want to stop. I couldn't stop. All those years of our hatred towards her and I didn't want to stop smacking her face. I wanted her to suffer and be in pain. My hands just kept hitting, it felt so good. All the anger that was piling up from the past year she was experiencing through my fist.

"Stop" Jax shouted as he dragged me off of her

"Get your fucking filthy hands off of me" I screamed as I wriggled in his grasp

"Can we talk about this?" Jax asked as he turned me to face him

"Talk, talk about what? While I've been grieving the loss of three people who meant the world to me you've been banging that little slut. While I've been struggling to cope, you've been letting that diseased riddled bitch have sex with you. You are nothing but a waste of time Jax. I have tried for so long to fix you as a person, to make you into a man but yet you are still a little boy at heart. All you want is sex, drugs and alcohol. You don't even care for me or your family. Do you enjoy hurting me? Does it make you feel amazing. Bet I know what feels amazing, when you sleep with her, I bet that its worth losing everything for. I mean it must be since you can't stay away from her. We are done, I can't live like this. I can't be with you, you are bringing me to breaking point and I'm scared I'm gonna do something bad to myself. I want a divorce, you can have the house, ill pack my bags and all my stuff. Congratulations, you lost me" and it took everything in me not to cry while saying this

"No we can't be done, no" he said

"Everything I just said and you say that. We are done, I think we were done a long time ago, I just didn't want to believe it" I said

"I love you Mia, more than life. You can't leave me" Jax said as a tear fell down his cheek

"I can. I'm gonna do amazing things and be a better person without you. I'm gonna make something of myself. I hate you Jackson Teller, I hate your fucking guts. I hope you live a happy life with that skank. You just lost the best thing that has ever happened to you" I said and I could feel my eyes tearing up

"So what, you're just gonna leave? That's it, you're not even gonna fight or even ask why I'm with her?" Jax asked and he looked so broken right now, like its the first time in a while I've seen the man I married, the man who cared

"Fight for what? Our marriage is broken and you can't fix something that's broken because no matter what it's always gonna have cracks. I don't have to ask, I know, I have knew for a while I just didn't want it to be true. I will be meeting with the lawyer in the morning" I said and I looked at him one more time, taking in all his details

"Mia, please don't. I love you so fucking much! You can't leave me! Not like this, not when I can't cope. I need you in my life to balance out all the good and bad, I need you so I have something worth living for. You are my soul mate Mia, my one and only. I don't want anyone else, I only want you. I have only ever wanted you. Please don't give up on me now, I promise I'll get better. I will be a better husband, please babe, please let me make this work" Jax cried out as I opened my car door

"I'm sorry" and a tear fell down my cheek as I sat in my seat and closed the car door

"Are you fucking happy? I hope ruining my life was worth it" Jax screamed. I didn't know who he was shouting that to, probably Brianna.

*end of flashback*

I still to this day have no idea who he was shouting those words too, he told me he didn't say it to Brianna and it definitely wasn't to me. Guess I'll never know.

---

A little more insight as to why they broke up so yous know. One of the later chapters will give more details to it.

Hope you enjoy :)