Sitting and thinking. Sitting and think is something that Luke has been doing too often, maybe too often. He refuses to think that he's back in the fucking hospital. Back at square one with little bit and pieces of his old life.
Yes, Calum and Luke are going home again, but things with be different. This won't go back to normal like they were going to be. But, of course, something had to ruin that.
What he's been thinking about is, in fact, what ruined it. Was it himself? Was it Calum? Or maybe it was what the sudden harsh thud at the back of their car that night?
It was definitely the last one. But, for some reason, like he always does, he thinks it's because of him.
Calum, on the other hand, has been contemplating everything. Every little thing he has to over analyze and think over before making his choice.
It's almost as if he things that if one little thing will kill him, but in some ways he's right. One pressing of a trigger, one leap off of a bridge, one swipe of a blade.
Yes, he's going home with Luke, but Ashton will be waiting with Michael right next to him. Waiting to recapture him in his grip and his persuasive ways that captures him every time.
Like before, Calum has been contemplating everything. What he eats and how it will effect what he looks like, what he does and how it will effect other people, breathing and how it effects other people.
Maybe it would be easier if he just stopped breathing.
That thought has ran through his head so many time, that is starting to become a habit he will never get over.
No, it's not a phase and neither is his love for Luke.
~Flashback~
"I love you," Calum mumbles kissing his boyfriend.
Luke hums in response, but a violent thud of something or someone crashing into their car stops them.
With a confused look on his face as to say 'what was that' towards Calum, Calum says, "I don't know, but I'll go check it out if 'ya want."
Luke nods and watches Calum's petite body shuffle out of the car door, close the door and walk to what he's completely oblivious to what's about to happen.
When he rounds the corner of his red car he's faced with a very angry Ashton. His strong arms are crosses over his sting chest with a stern look on his normally soft face.
"Ashton, what're yo-"
The honey haired boy wraps his long slender fingers around Calum's thin neck, squeezing slightly with his thumb pressed on his air pipe. Just enough for him to chock out words with a raspy voice.
"You disobeyed me," he growls, tightening his grip.
"Wh-hat," Calum chokes out with a raspy, uneven voice.
"You fucking kissed him, slut," he snaps, once against squeezing tighter while squinting his hazel eyes.
"I-I."
"You what!? You fucking love him when you're dating ME!"
"C-can't b-b-breath," Calum whimpers barely audible through the cracking his is voice. His soft brown eyes flutter to a close as they role to the back of his head.
You would think that this is the end of the older boy, but no, he's not done yet.
Pushing Calum's limp down to the dark sift ground on the side of the road, Ashton makes his away to the side of the car that Calum got out of. Throwing the car door open, Luke's icy blue eyes immediately go wide. Like wider then his shoulders.
"Fucking asshole dick," Ashton grunts as he thrusts his fist into Luke's slightly lifted nose.
The blonde cries out in pain, bringing his hand up to cup his aching nose.
His pain doesn't stop there though. It stops when he's completely unconscious and limp in the back seat.
Ashton drags Calum dead weighted body into the backseat next to Luke and he drives to the nearest hospital, acting as though he didn't inflict those wounds.
~End of Flashback~
Calum gently sighs and swings his short legs off of the tall bed so his tan legs hang off of the edge. He hops down onto the cold floor, but is protected with his thick white socks. He quietly walks out of his room and into the room on his left.
There's not need to knock, so he walks in to find Luke with his headphones in and his knees pressed against his chest.
Once again, Calum sighs and crawls into the bed that his lover sits on. Wrapping his arms around the blonde his rested his head on his chest as much as he can since he has a neck brace on from when Ashton was squeezing the living shit out of him.
"Hi," Calum whispers sighing.
Luke only nods, keeping his gaze on the open window that brushes a soft breeze through the hospital room.
The thing that Calum doesn't know is why he's staring out the window. If he did know, Luke would have no idea what Calum would do.
Luke stares out the window thinking about why he hasn't just given up already. Through all the shit he's still hear putting up with Calum shit that destroys him every time.
Maybe it not his weekend, but it's gonna be his year. Maybe it actually will if he changes things.
Sometimes he has to keep himself occupied so he doesn't get to deep in thought and keep the not so bad thoughts.
Maybe he just need to get away for a while, but then he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He would come crawling back to Calum and Michael, knowing that things are going to go bad. That's why he stays, because he would come back anyway and there isn't any other point of leaving his he's just coming back right after he leaves.
Every one knows that he would come right back to apartment 210B.
Level minded he's blinded by the promise of happiness if he can find it.
so that was the fist chapter and if you haven't read the first book I recommend you do that.
vote, comment and share
~emma
YOU ARE READING
Aware • cth + lrh
Fanfic"I-I just miss you, a-and when you leave it hurt me more that anything," He stutters, trying to let what he feels flow out of him like a river. Like it's not controlling him, but then he's lying to himself.
