"Are you even paying attention to me?" The snarky voice brings me out of my daydreams. With an eye roll, Kara continues, "Ugh, what's even the point of talking to you when you aren't even listening? Becca, I swear, it's like sometimes you don't even care."
Its because I don't! I don't care about your new car, or your cheating boyfriend that you yourself have cheated on countless times, or your parents, who are only angry with you because they love you! I just don't care! Every day, the words form on my lips, and I have to practically hold myself together in order to keep them from spilling out.
I plaster a smile on my lips. "Of course I was listening Kara Bear! Now tell me more about that new boyfriend of yours." Her face lights up, and she goes on to describe the newest addition to her boytoy collection.
Kara Pevency and I have been stuck together since the first day of middle school. Our parents were business partners at the time, and it was only logical that the two precious daughters became close as well. She was stuck in the whirlwind of Perfection right alongside me, but her soul went cold long before I succumbed to the darkness. The two of us are practically identical in every way but one. I hate what I've become after years of struggling to get to the top.
She enjoys it.
The times I am near Kara are when I must hold every emotion back. She sees emotions (true emotions, that is) as a sign of weakness, and it just wouldn't do for her best friend to be seen as emotional.
I also have to keep my physical appearance guarded while around my "best friend." My stomach protrudes too much, so I have to hold it in. My face is too pale, so I have to wear generous amounts of foundation.
I can never be comfortable when I'm near Kara.
"Well? What should I do?" She looks at me expectantly, as if I hold the answers to the universe, when in reality I am so confused by life that I'm drowning in a pit of despair and I don't know if I'll ever be able to rise out of it.
"You should just dump him, honey. He's only holding you back." We were yet again on the subject of Kara's love life. That cold heart of hers still has to be fueled by something, and she finds a cruel sort of pleasure in toying with boys' emotions. However, the guys in her life don't always go down without a fight, and oftentimes I find myself helping her to pick up the pieces of yet another broken heart.
The bell rings, and I find myself breathing out a sigh of relief. The school day is over. All I have left to survive is a date with Bradley, and dinner with my family. Only then will I be able to relax.
Breathe, Becca. Breathe.
Bradley Thorne has been my boyfriend since the second day of my sophomore year. At the beginning, before I turned Perfect, I just knew that I was head over heels in love with him.
Now, all I feel towards Bradley is an apathetic coldness. For two years, I've only remained by his side out of necessity. It wouldn't do for Rebecca Hartman to break the poor boy's heart.
I hardly remember the jist of the date, though I do recall Bradley's anger over my unresponsiveness. To be honest, I'm surprised he hasn't cut me loose yet. I've barely shown any sign of emotion towards him for almost two years. That is, I hardly show any emotions while we are alone. During public outings, it is a whole different story. I must at least look like I am enjoying myself, because in the world's eyes, Bradley and I have been deeply in love with one another for over two years.
Dinner is full of fake signs of caring and internet perusals. Each of us act as if we care about the other person's day, when in reality, each of us has grown too cold to have any sympathy. Therefore, after ten minutes of faking it, we each resign to our own internet devices and zone everything else out.
Ah, the bond of a family.
I can't hold in a smile as my head hits the pillow. Finally, finally, I can allow my true self to come out of hiding.
The next three hours are spent searching for others on the internet that will understand and sympathize with my life, and though I know that in less than eight hours I will be forced to get up and repeat the entire process, I can't help but feel at peace in the comfort of my sheets.
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Fin.
If you haven't noticed, this book falls under the category of "Short Story" which, at least in my interpretation, will mean that even the chapters are shorter than full-length stories.
Also, the entire story shouldn't be any longer than around fifteen chapters.
That's all I've got for now. I hope you're realizing now that this story is a bit more serious and "in your face," and it will definitely be getting much more intense.
Ta-ta for now.
-Kathryn
