When Time Ran Crooked

0 hours, 15 minutes, and 38 seconds Until

I don't know when I realized that I was going to leave. Claude's arms were like something outside of my world-- a safe fortress in a peaceful kingdom where fear was extinct. In his arms, there was nothing wrong. And yet, the second my eyes opened, I knew that there was actually something wrong: me. And that's when I got up. That's when I started packing up all my stuff, not that much had been unpacked.

Then I heard him roll over, groaning:

"Ugh, my head is killing me."

I bit my lip. My back faced him, and I refused to look at him. To see everything that he was. "I mean, that would make sense considering the amount of alcohol you consumed last night. Plus, you hadn't built up any tolerance for alcohol, and went overboard, so if you weren't feeling awful I would give you a metal becau-"

Claude chuckled. The sound made my stomach twist. "I get it, Bees. I know what a hangover is."

"Well, I can never know with you. I constantly feel like I'm whipping out another volume of the Birds and the Bees when I'm talking to you. And . . ." I hesitated. "You seemed to sober up pretty quickly last night after- you didn't even vomit."

"Oh, I did vomit," he mumbled, sleepily. "Don't you worry about that."

"When?"

"When you were sleeping," he explained. "I ran to the bathroom. And, as it turns out, alcohol burns much worse coming out than it does going in."

"As literally anyone could've told you," I teased

"And then I brushed my teeth and came back to bed," he told me.

"I knew there was no way your breath smelt that naturally minty."

"Is that really what you are going to focus on right now?" Claude asked.

My hands paused. "What should I be focusing on?"

"You tried to leave."

I gulped, but refused to sound soft. I always felt soft with him. "I'm not trying anything. I am leaving. I have to get to Aiko's."

"So . . . what about us?"

I finished packing up my last few things. I couldn't help the way my fingers curled tightly into the material of the sweater I was storing away. "What about us?"

Claude sighed. "Don't pull this crap on me after last night."

I threw my bag over my shoulder, glancing around to see if there was anything left behind. I still hadn't looked at him. "Claude, I have no idea what you want from me. Besides, I'm just going to Aiko's. I'm in town. We can talk about this later."

"You and I both know that as soon as you walk out that door, you're not turning around. We are talking right now. So talk to me, Bea. Damnit, just-- look at me! Please," he insisted. I heard the soft murmur of footsteps, before I felt the heat of his body, behind mine. Claude's voice was softer when he spoke again. "I don't want anything from you, Bees. I just want you."

"That's asking for a lot," I murmured, slowly turning to face him. He looked sleepy and messy and not put together at all, but for fucks sake, he still looked amazing.

"But I want it. I want you, Bees," he continued. "I don't care if you're a lot-- you're my lot."

"Wow, so romantic," I muttered, sarcastically.

"Bea," he groaned

I shrugged. "I'm just saying, you vaguely objectified me by referring to me as your property li-"

Alarm registered on his face. "I-- sorry. I didn't mean to."

I couldn't help but soften at his expression, and yet . . .

"Claude, I think I know what you want. I've known all along what you've wanted, and I know I can't give you anything like that. Last night, the past few nights really, have been a mistake," I told him, gently. "It would be easier for both of us if I just left now, okay? I'm sorry."

I refused to look at him as I left, and yet he didn't try to stop me. No one ever did.