When Time Ran Crooked

60 hours, 5 minutes, and 37 seconds Until

"Well, at least we can agree that Julian is an asshole," Aiko murmured, after my sobbing had subsided for a couple of silent moments.

I laughed wetly. The combination of my cold and crying was making it impossible to breathe and communicate like a normal human being. "I never said that I think he's an asshole."

And, sometimes, Julian was even sort of nice. Like when he takes me out for pancakes after a night between the sheets (and he doesn't even make me pay for my own) or gives me back massages or looks at me with his big, intense black eyes like he just wants to-

Okay, maybe I shouldn't be thinking about these sort of things when I'm talking to Aiko.

Besides, for every nice thing that Julian does, there's a bad one. Like showing up at my apartment (which I share with someone else) at all hours of the night for a booty call. Or denting my apartment wall (long story) and not paying to fix the damages. Or completely ignoring my while I'm on my period, because obviously I'm completely useless to him when there's blood leaking out of my vagina. Or calling Paul a washed out David Bowie impersonator, or something.

"Come on, Bea, don't tell me you like him," Aiko pleaded. "You can do so much better than him."

"I know," I responded. "He's not my boyfriend, remember? The sex is good. That's all."

And at the end of the day, no matter how much Julian was a tool, what we had together was good enough. I wasn't looking for a commitment, I was looking for someone to satisfy my needs and that was one of the few things that Julian was actually good at.

"Okay, now I need to change the course of this conversation before I start seeing visuals," Aiko told me. "So, if Julian isn't Stupid McDumb Face, who is?"

I scowled, for a moment, completely clueless to what she was referring to. Then, I remembered: Claude. Claude was Stupid McDumb Face. I heard the sigh escape my lips, feeling whatever better mood that had begun to form within me completely fade away.

"Oh. Him," I practically hissed.

"And it's definitely not Julian? That sort of tone is something I usually associate with him," she reasoned.

"So about that . . . " I trailed off, ignoring her question (I mean, there was only so much hating that Julian deserved (and I'll leave that all for Aiko's spare time) and now was not the time for it). "I sort of picked up a hitchhiker."

"Bea," she practically cursed. "You're not supposed to pick people up on the streets."

"He isn't from the street! He's from the airport," I explained. I informed Aiko about meeting Claude, forcing him to buy me food and shelter if I wanted it ("I just have to say, Bea, your entrepreneurial skills really do come out when you're hungry"), and finding ourselves at Cloud Nine. I left out the events of last night and this morning, as I knew they would just worry her.

"So what don't you like about him?" Aiko questioned.

"His whole personality," I answered.

"That's not a proper answer and you know it."

"He doesn't deserve a proper answer," I insisted.

"Well, now you're just pouting," she reasoned. "Did he say something to upset you? Did he stand up for Julian's douche-baggery? What is he like?"

I laughed at the mention of Julian, before sighing. "I don't know, he's just . . . so difficult, you know?"

"Well, I've never met him, so no."

"Screw you. If you could see me right now, I'm flipping you the finger," I informed her.

"That's the Bea I know," she noted, warmly. "How is this Claude guy difficult?"