Just Another Fan in Your Eyes

Chapter 2: Styles in My Eyes

(A/N): I thought I updated this but it shows me that it's seperately placed as an individual story and not with this story? And I'm sorry for being late, I promise I'll update Chapter 3 tomorrow or after! I have a lot of tests and projects going on at school!

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Chapter Two: Styles in My Eyes (Thoughts going on inside narrator’s head):

The past year and a half has been a secret living hell for me. Almost every second of my life, I felt unwanted, unimportant, and unloved. My own family has told to me, and basically proved to me that I can’t be useful in anything I do, and my depressed, still-developing mind simply believed it.

But the difference between last year and this year is that Harry Styles had been on my mind a lot very recently, for the past half-year or so. Almost everything I did and everyone I met, something had to remind me of Harry. In fact, his beautiful existence didn’t leave my longing thoughts for even a minute of any day.

You know, maybe you can say I’m just another fan, but I’m not, I’m really not. I don’t look at him the way a lot (not all) of other fans look at him. Their feisty, yet scary comments and tweets can bring on a lot of attention, and maybe even re-tweets and favorites, but not mine. Why’s that? Because I’m different. I think differently than almost all of the other Directioners. Maybe the sexual and some degrading comments they tweet gets attention because it’s how the world and society are today. But my simple, “I love you, Harry,” and, “Please notice me, Harry,” tweets will never be noticed, even though they might carry on a lot more feelings and clean thoughts behind them than most of these other tweets.

I know I’m not the only fan that sees Harry this way, but I also know I’m not one of many.

This 19-year-old, big-hearted and loving human being some days could give me hope and get me going, but other days he was the reason I felt like quitting.

I’d think and imagine myself being with him, being his girlfriend. No sex, no making out “hard-core,” or anything that could’ve sneaked into your mind like that. Just some sharing of innocent jokes and small laughs between the two of us. I created my own little stories in my teenage head; so realistic, so intimidating, and so tempting, that I feel happy thinking about them, living them inside my brain. But what stabs me right through the heart minutes later is going back to reality. Having to look around and find my room still the same, find myself still where I am, lying on the bed in the room...alone.

Having to literally live your dream-everything you’ve ever wanted- inside your head, mindlessly smiling and laughing as you joke around and play with your, “celebrity boyfriend,” can be very fun, life-forgetting for a while; but when your head suddenly and harshly hits reality, it hurts like no other emotional pain. Going from having fun, joking, messing around, play-arguing, butterfly kissing, and tight hugging to school, parents, siblings, real-arguments, tasks, and chores is a really tough and stressing transition. Yet, no one seems to understand. No one but me, myself, and I.

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(A/N): Someone asked me to update soon about two days ago so I updated what I had so far. I can either update like once every week or two with a long chapter or update once or twice in a week short chapters like these. Which would you prefer? Please let me know in the comment section and also vote if you like it so far! Thanks! Love you all! (: