Burning Ice

Chapter 3. On the Wall

The silence appeared again between us. I had no idea what he was talking about. They killed him? But he was there, in front of me, looking pretty much alive. What he had just said made no sense. But his declaration shocked me so much that I couldn't even form a coherent phrase in my head.

"What?" Was all I was able to say.

"They killed me." He repeated but it didn't make any more sense than the first time he said it. "Two days ago I was dead, lying on a wooden table, my heart wasn't beating.

"But..." I took a step back "You're here."

"Yes and I can't explain how or why, but they did kill me Jeyne. My men. My brothers. They killed their Lord Commander without hesitation, what do you think they would do with you?"

"Lord Commander?" I mumbled. He had got that far? He nodded. Eventually, I sat down since my legs were about to fail me.

"You are pale" He said coming to me quickly.

"And you are...alive?" He nodded once again. "Then you couldn't be dead, Jon! People don't die and come back to life after taking a nap for two days!"

"I have told you I don't know how it happened..."

I put my head in my hands and took some air. Definitely, it was much more information than what I was expecting to receive when I walked into this room. I heard him mumbling something and then he went to the door. I thought he would leave but he took the cloak hanging next to it and came back to me to put it over my shoulders. Then he put his own cloak around him and offered me a hand.

"Come. Let's take a walk. You need some air"

There was an authoritarian tone in his voice I haven't heard before. I looked at his hand and then at him. Suddenly he just didn't look like that special boy anymore. All I could see was a commander, a man who wouldn't take a no for an answer. I took his hand and realised I was shaking, then I followed him to the door with Ghost just behind us.

When we went out I felt many eyes on us and I still felt them until we got to what it looked like a cage. I looked at him questioningly but, without even looking at me, he got into the cage so I did the same. He closed the door and the cage started going up.

"What the hell?" I looked up "Are we going up to the Wall?"

He looked at me and smiled slightly before nodding. The wind was stronger as we went higher and this caused his hair to cover his face. It didn't take us much longer to reach the top and once we were there, he got out of the cage in the first place. I followed him silently, covering myself with the cloak Jon gave me.

"Not everyone has the chance to see the place where the world ends". He said smiling.

I looked at the hand he was offering and took it. Then he guided through a the aisle that has been naturally made on the top of the Wall. After just a few steps, he turned to the left and walked to the edge of the Wall. I have to admit that it was scary but his confidence made me feel safe.

The truth is that the views from there were breathtaking and they made me forget for a moment the cold I felt in my cheeks. All I could see was green, snow, white and mountains. It was just beautiful.

"Have you been there? Beyond the Wall?" I asked looking at the horizon.

"Yeah..." He admitted "And believe me when I say that it is more beautiful from up here"

Something in his voice told me that whatever he had seen out there was something I didn't want to see. Ever. In my life. It was safer here. I had so many questions in my head that I didn't know where to begin and I didn't want to push him. He really looked like he had gone through hell. Apparently, being Eddard Star's son here, at the end of the world, meant nothing.

"What happened?" I asked after a long while.

"They thought I betrayed the Night's Watch because I let the wildlings through the gates." He answered.

"Did you let them?" I asked curious. He nodded. "Why?"

When he sighed I knew it was a much longer story than what I expected. But I was willing to stay with him and in order to do so, I had to know everything that had happened in this place and everything that had happened to him since he left Winterfell.

For a brief moment I thought he wouldn't say anything else and he would just stay silence. But, eventually, he started telling me everything. He told me about his training, how he was the best and, despite that, he was named a butler. He told me about the expedition, how he had to break his vows and leave with the wildlings. He also told me about Craster's Keep, the White Walkers, how they climbed up the Wall, he told me how he betrayed them to go back to the Night's Watch and the final battle against the wildlings. Finally, he told me about how he became the Lord Commander, about Stannis and Melissandre, what happened in Hardhome and how all those events led him to open the gates to the wildlings and how that decisions made him end up dead.

Definitely, life has been much more complicated for him than for me. He had confronted death, betrayal, life and death in a very short time. All of that had changed him and made him grow up sooner than what he was supposed to. But, somehow, that was his fate.

When he finished talking I didn't know what to say. It was a lot of information to process and I didn't know what to think.

"I think you did the right thing when you let the wildlings in. They would have died out there." I finally said.

"I know. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way." He sighed and turned his body to be facing me.

"And why don't you leave? You died, your vows died with you and your Watch is over. Nothing keeps you here anymore". He smiled with irony when I said that.

"And where will I go?" He asked. I looked at him narrowing my eyes, making him laugh softly. "Ok, where will we go?"

"I don't know..." I admitted looking away again. "Being a Stark in the North is dangerous right now. I've come to learn that many people has been threatened by the Boltons and they are too scared to change sides."

"Then it is a good thing that I have never been a Stark, right?" I frowned when he said that.

"You have always been a Stark! I don't care about your last name. You are a Stark and probably the last one. You owe it to the North."

"Yeah, and what do I do? I just ride to Winterfell with Ghost and my sword and ask tell them to leave?" I hated when he talked like that, being so cold. "I know Ghost can be terrifying but believe me when I say he cannot defeat a whole army by himself."

Once again, I didn't know what to say. I had no idea about war strategies. I was just a miller's daughter who had travelled more than what I thought it was possible. What did I know about armies and battles?

"The wildlings would fight for you..."

"Not enough of them and those who would are not trained to fight against proper soldiers." I sighed and looked at him, starting to get tired of the way he was talking.

"Jon, it is your home! It is worth the try! If it is necessary, we will attack during the night, just like Theon did. At least you would have an excuse to do it."

"That's crazy..." He said shaking his head.

I took a deep breath and covered myself properly with the cloak. Ok, I was done.

"As you wish, Lord Commander."

My words were colder than what he deserved but I couldn't understand that defeatist attitude without even trying. We looked at each other for a moment but when I realised when wasn't going to say anything else, I turned on my heels and went back to the cage that brought us here.

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