Familiar Touch

Next Touch

the next touch we feel

with a person that

we have relations with

is the emotional one.

the one you feel

in your heart, and

the one you hear in

your head when the music

isn't playing anymore.

the one that keeps you up

until all hours of the night,

whether they're happy thoughts;

or bad thoughts.

I have experience with both.

______________________________

The way I look at it, is if the person you are falling in love with, or already are in love with, continuously makes you happy, what reason is there to not stay with them? Why doubt the connection between you two because of a few break ups, or because of the people around you saying you should not be together, or even because of the arguments? The mistakes you've made in your relationship should only help you two grow; at least that's how it works for us.

We started with our first touch, followed by our next. Emotionally, so far, it's been a fucking roller coaster; but the one thing that constantly stays, and never seems to go away, is the happiness that we share. No matter what kind of day we're having or the argument that we are in, we always manage to make each other smile. That's the love in it all, right?

When I first met you, I remember before facetiming you, I had to look perfect. I needed to brush my hair, put my glasses on, turn my lights on, make sure I was in a spot with decent lighting that didn't make me look too fat or too ugly. I did that, because I was so self-conscious of what you thought of me, even though you told me everyday how perfect I was. I remember before going to school, I would look in the mirror several times just seconds before leaving my house to make sure my hair wasn't too messy or to be sure that my outfit matched, just in case you saw me throughout the day.

You loved me when I didn't love myself, and then continued to teach me how to love myself, which made me fall for you even more. You told me everyday how amazing I was, and how perfect I was in your eyes and how I didn't need anyone to love me unless it was myself. After teaching me how to love myself, even though at times I still struggle with that aspect and you continue to help me with it, we got to know each other. I fell in love with all of the things you told me, and I fell in love with the way you told me you were in falling in love with me.

You helped me understand what love was in such a short time, and I had a feeling about us, a feeling that we were going to last. I knew that I didn't want to be another one of your exes, I wanted to be your forever, I wanted you to be mine forever. The stars reminded me of you; and I think it was because of the way you looked at me when we were in a dark place, or when we were outside at night, or when we were at a party. I saw the way things reflected off of your eyes, and they reminded me of the stars. After all, to me, you are the man who put them in the sky.

Though we've been through so much already, we have many more things ahead. We will stick by each other through everything, and we will become stronger than the people around us. The happiest I've been in my life, is the time I've spent with you. I've almost lost you one too many times, but this is that forever shit that everyone always talks about.

That's what we have, a forever, and it's right in front of us. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time, we could dance and party all night, just slow down if you want me. That second touch, the one that you feel in your chest or the one you think about all the time, that's the one that really matters, that next touch has to deal with the structure of the relationship you're going to have with that person.