Losing Charley

Chapter 1 Part 1

June 2013

I can't believe that high school is over. Over the past few months, I've grown and figured out who I am as a person. It's not been easy, especially without Cash by my side each day, but I know it's what I needed to do to get over everything that has happened. Thinking about today, I can hardly believe my high school career is over. Who knew that time would go by so quickly, and now I'm standing here acting like a little baby! "Charley, you better pull yourself together," I say as I look into the mirror. It's time to do the damn thing and graduate! I've got this!

I take one final look at myself in the mirror and see the confidence that was missing for a while. My hair is blonde and freshly rolled with hot rollers. I have the kind of hair that girls dream of! You know, the kind that you put rollers in and it stays for days without a gallon of product. I have on a Forever 21 black A-line sleeveless floral lace dress that shows just enough leg, the pearl earrings and necklace set my dad gave me, and a pair of Nine West stiletto heels that I got at my favorite store of all time, The Jesus Store. I paid fifteen dollars for them, and they are like brand spanking new! They aren't my typical Ariats because I knew the boots just wouldn't fly for today.

I grab my cap and gown and can hear all my family downstairs; they are so excited. One month ago I couldn't wait, but Lenior Rhyne College is only five miles away so nothing is really going to change. I guess I better snap out of it and head to graduation.

I walk downstairs in the old white farmhouse that I've grown up in my entire life. What started off small has now turned into a pretty big place. It was transformed from a two bedroom, one bath, house to five bedrooms, three baths, sunroom, man cave and pool. I guess it pays to have a dad who can do anything. I go downstairs to see my sis, Tessa, waiting for me.

"Charley, why is it that you never have to work hard on your looks?"

"Whatever, you know you're the one that got all those in this family." She gives me a hug and says she'll see me at school in a little while.

As I walk down the hallway, I notice my baby pictures. I sure do hope I make my parents proud. I walk into the kitchen and tell Mama, Dad, and my cousin Joanna that I'll see them there, and out the screen door I go. Joanna informs me she has too much cooking to do, so she will just stay at home.

Once I get into my 2009 Red Honda Accord, I put on my ten dollar shades and turn up the radio to 96.9 The Kat. Thanking the good man upstairs that a little Florida Georgia Line "Cruise" is on! YES! I crank it up with the windows down and sunroof open.

Today is a perfect day to graduate. The sky is the perfect color, Carolina blue. There's not one cloud in sight, and I'm about to start a new journey. The next thing I know, I'm pulling into Dixon High School. I see my girls already starting to arrive and hanging out by the tree on the front lawn. I'm especially thankful for Piper and my sister. Without them, I wouldn't have made it through the past year and a half without them. They were there when I needed them most, even if they don't know all the details.

I park the car, get out, and head toward the tree. Deep breaths. In, out, in, out. You can do this!

"Hey, Piper, you ready to get this over with?" Truthfully, I'm nervous as hell and could cry at any moment. I scan the crowd to see if Dylan is anywhere around, and he's not. Thank goodness.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just ready to get on that flight to Cancun!" she says.

"Yeah, me too! I don't know about you, but I'm just ready to get out of this hole in the wall town before I go crazy!"

Next thing I know, all our families have arrived and my mom is taking pictures like a mad woman. I just keep thinking to myself. Are you SURE you don't want to go to school somewhere else? When I look to my right, I can see Mrs. Clark motioning us to move that way. It's time to get this party started! Piper, Annie, Carrie, Morgan, and I make our way to line up by homeroom. I'll be with the same group of people I have been with since ninth grade. One more time, and this is over!

While we wait, I stand watching my friends laugh and look like they are just fine and dandy. I wonder if any of them are falling apart inside like I am. I know I've made bad decisions in the past, but I'm praying that my college choice is right and staying close to home is a good thing. I have my parents, my sister, and Cash here in town too. When I really think about it, I am just a country girl who never wants to leave her little hick town.

As I'm deep in thought, I notice the line starting to move. Here goes nothing, I think to myself and smile over to my left at Piper. I've covered for her ass a lot, and she's always done the same for me. I really don't know what I'm going to do with her going to school five freakin' hours away!

Walking into the auditorium, I hear "Pomp and Circumstance." It's now or never. Time to put on my big girl panties and act like the Southern Belle I was brought up to be.

Heading down the aisle, I can see my mama, dad, sister, and grandparents. They are all so happy. I smile at them and say a prayer that I don't break down crying. I make my way up the steps. One, two, three, four. Whew, I didn't fall. I make my way to my seat and pray that this is over quickly.

My school is extremely strict when it comes to graduation. No hooting and hollering or the 5-0 will escort you out. No throwing your cap, and always show your manners because this is an honored ceremony. Well, let's see if all that happens today.

Speeches are made, songs are sung, and diplomas are handed out. So far all the rules are being followed. That is until our graduating class begins to holler at the top of our lungs for a fellow classmate that we swore would NEVER graduate. I think he might turn "Dirty Thirty" this year! Just kidding. What are they going to do? Escort the entire class out? I don't think so!

Everyone's name has been called, and it's time to turn that tassel. I hear the Student Body President say, "I now present to you the Class of 2013." Tassels are turned and caps are flying. Yes, that's how we roll. Just enough not to be in too much trouble but make our statement!

When the recessional begins to play, we start to march out. There are those damn steps again. One, two, three, four. I'm down and out the door I go. I'm cheesing from ear to ear. I made it!

Outside, I meet my friends by the tree again. We are all so happy, but the next thing I know, Piper and I are squalling. When I finally pull myself together, I see my mama. Here come the water works again. She gives me a hug, and I say something I never thought I would, "Mama, I don't want to grow up!"

She says, "I know, Charley, but we all have to some time."

With that off my chest, I feel a little relieved. I know that things will work out, and I've made the right choice. I get myself together, talk with my friends, and make a few more photographs for memories' sake.