Breath

Chapter 15-let down

Eleanor and I pull into a little cafe and we find a table towards the back.  "so explain everything from the beginning." she says drinking her water.

and that's exactly what I do. I start from the morning, how he acted all skittish and awkward about going, and when we were at the park, he was distant.

she nods as I talk, finishing her water as I finish my story. I'm biting back tears, I just wish I could break down and not look so stupid and pathetic.  but I manage to keep it together.

"I don't get why he would do that.... he never shuts up about you. "

*****

after waiting for a few hours, Louis calls eleanor telling us when harry left,  its safe to come back. I feel so slimy sneaking around. I just want to see harry. but at the same time I don't.

"he's really torn up about it..." louis says handing be a blanket. when we walk in the door.

"thanks for letting me stay here." I say quietly taking it.

"you should atleast call him or text him."

"Louis, I can't. I just.. I don't know..." I toss the blanket onto the couch and lean against the back of it looking down.

"just think about it." and then he leaves me alone. and I finally break down. maybe I overreacted. but maybe I didn't.

I never end up calling him.

nor do I end up sleeping at all.

*******

"I'm going to harrys." louis says as we sit at the table eating breakfast. he grabs a six pack of beer, and some little snacks then heads out.

"Lou told me a bit of what harry said last night.." eleanor says, putting the milk back in the fridge.

I want to know. but I don't. but...

"What did he say?" I say quickly.

"well the fact he let you down is killing him..."

"well the fact he's used me is killing me." I say quietly and I stand from the table, I need to distract my self.

******

I need to find a hotel.

I can't stay here again, That's embarressing.

I also need to get my clothes from the apartment.

shit. I'm crying again.

"how about you go take a shower and relax. we can make a plan from there." El says kindly.

and I do just that, take a hot shower and I cry the whole time.

once I'm out el and I sit at the kitchen table yet again figuring out what to do.

"I just got off the phone with Louis, he said they are going to Nialls and we can get your stuff in about an hour.."

****

I open the door to the dark apartment, flick the lights on, and its a mess. clothes are everywhere, empty beer bottles and tissues strewn across the floor.

"what happened in here?" Eleanor asks walking in behind me, stepping over a shirt.

I go into the bedroom and the bed is a mess too. and grabbing the duffle bag and begin to shove clothes inside.

"Hi!" I hear Eleanor say out side. probably louis calling again.

"uhm, hi?" a voice responds.

harry.