Never Again

Chapter 13

I can't feel my feet anymore. I feel so wasted and damn tired. I rubbed my temples to keep walking straight and to focus on what's happening.

Forget Wendy? How can I forget my best friend? How can I let her go just like that? Is she insane? Well I think I am more insane for not defending her, for not saying that she's the best of friend in this world and I'm so lucky to be part of her life.

I felt my phone vibrating from my pocket a message from my mom.

I felt blood rushing through my cheeks. I got dizzy from all the thoughts and hopes so I sat into one of the benches before seeking my way inside.

"Kaia" it's Luke getting nearer and nearer.

I stood up uninterested, well yes he can tell.

"I want you to treat him well okay?"

"I want you to treat him well okay?"

"I want you to treat him well okay?"

"I want you to treat him well okay?"

Oh yes now I'm blackmailed. I shut my eyes and I'm trying my best to figure out what I should do right now. Should I talk to him like nothing happened? Should I treat him the way I first saw him? I'm drenched with stupid thoughts.

"Luke I'm not okay." I managed to say.

I wanted to say these words. I badly wanted to share how terrible I feel right now. And seeing him getting closer to me, giving his warm smile, feeling his hands on my shoulder with his curious eyes I once stared at I feel like coming home.

I shut my eyes again, I could feel the tears once more, but now it's cold.

I can feel Luke's hands in my shoulder right now, he with his warm touch.

"Why? Am I giving you a really hard time?" his voice is so comforting I wanted to hug him, but I shouldn't.

I shook my head and breathed out. I wiped my tears and turn around so that he won't see my ugly face. Looking tired exhausted than ever. I managed to smile.

"I'm sorry for being like this. I got to go now." I said without looking at him.

As I turn my back I heard him whisper.

"I'm so sorry too."

That broke me, his words of apology that sounded so innocent, his voice that sounded like the Luke I fell in love with. I ran as fast as I can. I covered my mouth with my trembling hands stopping myself from all the sobbing until I managed to seek inside my room I saw Vera looking surprised and panicked at the same time. I get inside the bathroom and let all the sobbing out.

You don't have an idea how bad I feel right now. Every time I feel like sleeping and relaxing trying my hardest to push away the all the thoughts haunting me for days then seeing that empty bed, seeing that working table without the cheerful Wendy I used to share memories with, reading the last messages she used to send me then realizing she won't even bother reading the messages I sent her. And waking up again without her, it feels so bad.

I let the water flow. I'm so damn tired of being left alone.

I can hear Vera knocking.

"Let's talk about it Kaia, you need someone to talk to don't you? Well I'm here. Please." She's almost begging with her sweet voice.

The sobbing continued even louder right now. I can hear Vera panicking from the outside until the door banged open.

Hunter Williams standing on the door step rushing his way to me and holding me tight in his arms. I can feel his warm arms wrapped around me trying to calm me down. His voice is soft and it's like lulling me to sleep.

Vera walked in too. She stopped the shower and covered me with a dry towel. We made our way outside the bathroom and Hunter supported me in the arms and sat with me in my bed.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything unless you tell me what's bothering you Kaia." Vera is now crying, like a goddess brought to life.

I gave her a sad smile, a tired smile. I shut my eyes I want to evaporate right now, I badly want to pause everything and breathe. Even for a second.

xx

I could barely hear Wendy thanking Hunter for coming in the middle of the night. I can feel her spreading the blanket and covering me with my dry clothes on, I don't know how it all happened but I'm thankful.

As I open my eyes, everything's dark. All I can see is the shadow of the huge cabinet and the light coming from Vera's lamp shade. By this time I know she's asleep.

I opened my phone and bring it close inside the blanket to avoid the light escape. I opened the message my mom sent.

Hi sweetie how's your day? Professor Taylor texted me about what's going on to your grades right now. And I want you to know that we are not happy about it, in fact we're disappointed. Kaia I want you to focus on you studies okay? If you're being bothered by Wendy's absence then forget her, please. Your father's counting on you. Don't let us down.

I read the next message she sent a few minutes ago.

Professor Taylor said you had an agreement with her to fix your grades. Please do as she say okay? Goodnight sweetie we love you.

I shut my eyes again. No more thoughts for now Kaia please, I know you're damn tired of everything. Just breathe and give yourself a break.

xx

I manage to haul myself into a half-seated position, propping my head up against the headboard behind me. I can feel my hand aching badly, from all the squeezing I did yesterday. There's a searing pain behind my eyes too, too tired of all the crying I guess.

I scan the whole room, Vera is not around. Her bedsheets are fixed with pillows on one side of the bed. I noticed the glass of milk on my side table with a note that says:

Drink me :)

Hi Kaia sorry for turning your alarm clock off. I decided not to wake you up because I know how tired you are yesterday. Don't worry about class I'll jot some notes and lend it to you later. Rest well okay? –Vera

I smiled. I felt so lucky for having her around. I stretched my arms feeling a little relieved. I drank the glass of milk and by this time I can feel how hungry I am. The hunger is a snake; it is lashing at the pit of my stomach, eating me from inside out. Then I realize I ate nothing since lunch from yesterday.