P O E T R Y // o.r

soixante-quatre // loss

i lost my friend
on the weekend;
there was no day of rest
for i was restless.

my mind was whirring
and i was blurred by lost time,
the loss cut deep
with the world's dealt knife.

everything happens for a reason
they say
and i believed it too,
but not now that
an innocent is absent
forever,
no
that is far too cruel.

loss is a pain
everywhere
from my tired ankles,
walking the road
without him,
to the back of my neck
and then
to the middle of my head;

loss is the empty space,
the dip in the bed,
the abandoned bowl of cornflakes
on the kitchen counter, 
left for later
but never returned to.

loss is
everything
and nothing,
numbing
and painful.
an opposite
agenda.
a whirlwind
of E m O t I o N s

a bottle
of what was once
desperate salvation
now left for good...
a change of heart,
a brand new start,
for him,
everything is for him.

loss is a teenage heartbreak
served in a lemonade pitcher
but even more
sour

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but he wouldn't want it to devour
me

and i will not permit it
to destroy me.
i owe it to him.
the sun shone for him
and it will continue to,
just as i will learn
to love and appreciate
this world
and i will cherish
this life of mine
in an all-encompassing duvet
of warmth and inspiration.

fear will be no more,
but he will be eternal.

he is eternal.

o.r