what you are doing to me is gently breaking me into pieces. leaving me breathless and have no choice but to die. what you are doing to me is more than i deserve. why don't you just go here and kill me?? so that i won't feel any pain anymore. i just don't like this torture. if you don't want me or you are so disappointed on me just say it. if you don't want to have me as your daughter just tell me. one wrong move and my life is ruined right?? one mistake and i will always be the bad person here. i strive all my life to be perfect. i did everything i know to understand why my life is like this or why won;t my life be just like any other kid's life. i fought so hard not to be affected with every bad thing i see in you. i fought so hard to be as normal as i could. i am so full of any of this. lahat na ginawa ko para ma-divert ang attention ko. para di na ako masaktan sa lahat ng to. lahat na eh. minsan nakakapagod na pero kailangan ko pa ring magpatuloy na patunayan ang sarili ko. i know that what ive done now is very disappointing. pilit ko namang kinakaya eh kaso hindi ko talaga gusto yung course na yun. i just don't have the heart to go against what you want but ive had enough. ang gusto ko lang naman gawin ko na yung gusto ko kasi alam ko na pag ganun ang ginawa ko alam kong makakaya ko kasi yun ang pangarap ko. alam ko na mali na magpabaya ako pero unconsciously yun ang nagawa ko kasi nagrerebelde na ako. pero babawi naman na ako di ba??? gagawin ko na yung tama. ang sama sama ng loob ko kasi harapan mo kong tinawag na sinungaling kahit hindi naman ako ganun., para mo naring pinili yung babaeng yun over me. pero di ba wala akong sinabi? kasi wala na akong masabi. im just so tired. ang sakit sakit ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. pinipilit kong itago lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko kasi alam kong mas makakagulo lang ako pag nagpakita aq ng kahit ano. tinatanggap ko na lang lahat.
pero ano bang silbi nitong tinype ko?? haha
at the end of the day im just your daughter. marami akong utang na loob and i just dont have the right to tell you these things.
BINABASA MO ANG
A Hopeless Romantic for a Poet
RandomA day-to-day basis of seeking adventure through daily routines .. :) my true to life diary.
