[19] "ay cheer up lil mama cheer up" -J Cole.
Scarlet
Pull the trigger
Go ahead pull it
Your worthless
played through my head as I held the gun to my head,I wanted to pull the trigger to end my life but I couldn't do it.
-yeah I wake up in the morning and I ask myself is life worth living should I blast myself?
The gun fell from my damped hands onto the bed,my body froze as I stared into the mirror in front of me.
I hated the way I looked,I had fat in places where I didn't even know fat could exist,I wanted to cut it.
I touched my face and noticed that I was getting a double chin and my acne was starting to come back,but I hid it with makeup so no one could see the monster underneath.
Tears fell down my cheeks and feel on to my chest wetting my shirt.I don't see what Khalil sees in me,why does this man love me so much?
-You got your whole life to live ay why you wanna tear up?
"you're ugly" I yelled at the mirror.
I looked down at the magazine in my hand to see a plus size model posing and smiling happily.
-now girl you is fine ain't no doubt about it
"why can't I be happy" I cried out.
-even when I'm high I feel the lows
"Kill me kill me now! fucking die!"I yelled looking at my reflection in the mirror.
-even through the joy I feel the pain
"because your worthless,you don't deserve to live" I picked the gun back up and twirled it in my hand before looking over at the bottle of pills sitting on the table.
-cheer up you gotta be your own mascot
"Pain or no pain?" I looked in between the two,"slowly or fast?"
-living a life you hate but can't escape.
I bit my lip and took a deep breath.
"Think about your family"
Die.
I cocked the gun and placed it to my head.
-I got the glock to my head feel I rather be dead
"bye bye world"
-and I'm hopeless
"NO-"the gun sounded off into the room.
POW!
_____
Short chapter showing why scar was acting the way she was in the last chapter.
The bold italics is lyrics from Cheer up by J Cole.
