Change of Heart (NaNoWriMo 2011)

Chapter 14

Jariel was beyond the point of stress right now.  It seemed as though the world was out to get him.  That as soon as he was getting use to something, or someone, the world backfired on him and took away his, almost, happiness. He knew that Dawn was only trying to help him, but really, couldn’t she have let him pick out his own job? One that had nothing to do with serving food to others?

            Dawn had left for work shortly after finishing dinner. He guessed that she was going to be gone for a while, so he took this opportunity to let his wings flow out. Due to their massive size, however, he had to keep them tucked close to his body; for fear that he would accidentally knock something over.  He felt so much happier being like this, like his true self. Not only didn’t he have to look like a human, he didn’t have to admit, or acknowledge for that fact, that he was here on this hell hole. It reminded him that he wasn’t a human, that he didn’t belong here. Sometimes he became so use to his daily routine here that he began to forget who he was. He was terrified of forgetting that entirely.

            He stroked a hand through the pure white feathers and smiled to himself. He looked at himself in the mirror and good memories flooded his head. The time he and his friend, James, had gone down to the valley where the birds never stopped singing their beautiful tunes. The time that they swam in the river. The female angels he had thought he had loved, but must have been lust. He missed the good times that he had with his friends. He missed his friends. Hell, he missed everything.

            If only he knew how to get back. He knew some angels that had fallen, James being one of them, most likely Elise’s fault as well. The thought of finding them entered his mind again and this time he didn’t brush them away. He was determined to at least try to find them. If he was dropped here, who knew, maybe James or the others were too.

            He decided to look tomorrow, when it was brighter outside as well as a little bit warmer. The weather was calling for snow but, according to Dawn at least, the weatherman was wrong on more than one occasion. With his wings still visible he turned on the television and started watching a show called Criminal Minds about behavioral analysis agents in the FBI that solved murders by studying the human mind and how it worked. It interested Jariel, simply because it showed some people trying to help. Then again, it was their job and they really weren’t doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. Either way, it was better than watching the news because at least he knew that the people on the screen were just actors and actresses.

            After watching a couple episodes Jariel turned the television off, having enough of the violence, plus he was growing bored. He was not looking forward to having to talk to Joe tomorrow, he was downright dreading it. He didn’t like to be forced in to something, especially something he didn’t want to do.  He didn’t really have a choice now though, Dawn had already done her damage and now Jariel had to go through with it.

            He just wished that Dawn had minded her own business and let Jariel continue to do what he felt comfortable doing, staying secluded in this apartment. By having to work, he had no choice but to be surrounded by the scum that he seriously despised. It was unfair really. He didn’t want to be surrounded by people and their selfishness. He didn’t want to be surrounded by their horrible attitudes.

He didn’t want to be surrounded by them, period.

            The fallen angel sighed and lied down on the couch, covering his body with his wings. Dawn wouldn’t be home for a couple of hours, at least that’s what he though, and so he really didn’t have anything to worry about. He secretly hoped that she would walk in and see his wings, because it would make things so much easier.