Meet Lt. Zariel Sindile, temporarily assigned to Voyager for its rescue mission in the Badlands. Now she's stuck in the Delta Quadrant, her children are at home without her, she has no one to depend on, and her darkest secret is about to be laid ba...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Stardate 51462.5
"And Starfleet Command will be notifying all of our families that we're alive and well." The captain paused a moment, then said, "And they had a message for Voyager; that we're no longer alone." She paused again, then the shipboard announcement ended with, "Carry on."
Twelve decks down in Xeno, Zariel's mind filled instantly with her boys' faces, the sound of their laughter, the feel of her arms around them, the smell of the loud cologne preferred by sweaty teenage baseball players. She turned her chair around slowly. Wally was already rising to his feet. "Really?" he whispered. "Really? It worked?"
Zariel got to her feet as well, slowly. The expression on Wally's face was morphing from disbelief to delight. "They know we're okay. My folks, they know I'm okay!"
Zariel looked down at her hands, watched them tremble for a moment. Her children had never seemed closer since she had left for Deep Space Nine, and yet never farther away. Had they accepted her death, moved on? What would this news do to them? Would it tear open wounds long healed, or would it be a comfort? Would it make any difference to them, dead or a galaxy away? Did they resent her so for leaving that they wouldn't even care? Dear God, she didn't even know for sure where they were, what they were doing. Did Patrick go on to college, despite his ambivalence, did he decide on a major? Was Michael still playing baseball, still ducking his talent for the guitar? Would there ever be any way to know? Her head spun, unable to formulate a coherent mental picture of her children's lives in order to imagine this news in context.
Wally was shouting in delight, half in Standard and half in Italian, and Zariel was happy that he was happy, but her head continued to spin with questions as the door whooshed open. Samantha charged in, and grabbed Wally in a giant hug. They shouted incoherent and happy things at each other for a moment, then both noticed Zariel, who was still standing with her hand on the center console for support.
"Zariel? You okay?" Samantha asked. No answer.
"Zariel?" said Wally.
She blinked and refocused. "Sorry, y'all, yeah, I'm okay. I was just... just thinking about my boys, I guess. How this news will affect them."
"Good grief, I'm still working out how it affects me, and she's worrying about ramifications sixty thousand light years away." Wally rolled his eyes. "Is this a mom thing?"
Zariel steepled her fingers, as they'd all seen Tuvok and T'Lin do. "I guess so. I was just wondering whether this will be easier or harder for them." Wally looked a bit stunned at this, so she tried to explain. "I mean, if we're dead, our people can accept that and move on." She pressed her upraised fingers against her lips for a moment. "If we're alive in the Delta Quadrant, they never get to put anything behind them. They don't have anything but uncertainty." She finally met their eyes. "Is that really any better for them? I mean, it's not likely we'll ever get home."
Samantha had come closer while Zariel was speaking, and now she slid an arm around Zariel's shoulders. Zariel bowed her head and pressed her fingers against her mouth again.
"How am I feeling about this news?" she asked.
Before Zariel could react, Sam answered herself. "You don't know, do you? Because you have your barrier up, right?"
Samantha stepped back to look in Zariel's face. "In fact, you put the whole ship on mute as soon as this news hit the wire, didn't you?" Zariel nodded. "Of course you did. That's not very likely, is it? When we left home, you didn't even know that could be done."
Sam propped her fists on her hips. "You stand there doing something you always thought was impossible, and you're talking about what's 'likely?' We've all accomplished unlikely things on Voyager, what's one more? Getting home isn't unlikely for this ship!"
Zariel laughed a bit unsteadily at this, and hugged Samantha. Wally folded his arms in mock rebuke.
"You know, Zariel, you really make me feel bad. Everyone else is celebrating for themselves, and you think of your kids first. I'd say that's gotta be a mom thing, but you do everyone that way."
At this, she grinned at him. "No, it is a mom thing, and believe me, there's no way in the universe to mute that."
